Editor’s note: Michael Ackley’s columns may include satire and parody based on current events, and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell the difference.

“I’d just like to say that I’m responsible for the things that happen on my watch,” Howard Bashford declared last week. “I’m responsible for what I do and for what my staff does.”

“As President Obama said,” Howard continued, “‘I’m ultimately responsible for what’s taking place … because these are my folks …’ He also said of Hillary Clinton, ‘… she works for me. I’m the president and I am always responsible.'”

I’m always responsible,” said Bashford sententiously. “Just as the president declared he was ‘responsible for the folks who are working for the federal government,’ so I, too, am responsible for my subordinates.

“When something is broken, as the president said, ‘I take full responsibility for making sure it gets fixed.’ He inspired me when he said of the Benghazi debacle, ‘I’m responsible and I don’t shy away from that responsibility.’

“Yes, I was inspired when he said, ‘If there is a flood somewhere, if there is a tornado, if someone is losing their job, at some level you feel responsible and you want to make sure that you are doing right by the American people.’ Why, when it was disclosed we were spying on Brazil, that country’s president said President Obama had ‘taken responsibility.’

Bashford continued, “Speaking of inspiration, let’s not forget Hillary Clinton. Her new book says of Benghazi, ‘I was the one ultimately responsible for my people’s safety, and I never felt that responsibility more deeply than I did that day.’ And so, I reiterate: I take responsibility!”

I must admit I was moved by Howard’s peroration, but I had to ask, “Howard, you don’t have any employees, so how can you ‘take responsibility’? Isn’t all this meaningless?”

“No more than when the president says it,” he answered complacently.

Speaking of responsibility: Portions of Hillary Clinton’s new memoir include her chapter on Benghazi. Quick analysis: She’s a liar, and she has the chutzpah to call those seeking the truth “those who exploit this tragedy.”

One always must remember about Mrs. Clinton: She’s a bad person. When the Washington, D.C., press eventually writes her obituary, they will call her “complicated.” You will recall that this is what the scribes said about Richard Nixon. For “complicated” read “dishonest, devious, ruthless, manipulative …” et cetera.

Meanwhile, in California: An ethnic studies teacher tells the Los Angeles Times that the point of her discipline (She is a teacher. Teachers discipline kids.) is to create bridges between people and spur students to become active participants in the world around them.

Says Kitaro Webb, in gorgeous non sequitur, “The whole point of ethnic studies  is … civic engagement, responsibility and fighting for what you believe in.”

Swell! Says Assemblyman Luis Alejo. Let’s have ethnic studies statewide. His Assembly Bill 1750, now in California’s state Senate, would create a commission “to consult with experts on ethnic studies, multiculturalism, or diversity” on how to create an ethnic studies curriculum for all public schools.

Alejo, it should be noted, graduated from U.C. Berkeley with a degree in Chicano studies. The fact he is in the Legislature shows clearly that he was able to find the only job in California for which the worthlessness of his degree would not disqualify him.

But back to the diversity mongers. Allyson Tintiangco-Cubales, an ethnic studies professor at San Francisco State University, throws her own non sequitur into the ring, declaring, “What ethnic studies is really about is creating opportunity for young people to learn about themselves and the world around them and make the world a better place.”

If only ethnic studies weren’t anti-American indoctrination. If only other cultures actually were examined critically. For example, under Chicano studies, topics might include, “Machismo: Directed Violence Can Be Positive,” or “Mexico’s Institutional Corruption: It’s Good for Some.” Middle East studies might include “Female Mutilation: Good or Bad?” or “Worried about Body Image: Try the Burqa.”

I could get behind an ethnic studies curriculum if it were guaranteed to offend everybody. In fact, it offends only one culture, the culture people all over the Earth clamor to be part of.

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