Now running for election to Congress is one of America’s political legends, Edwin Edwards.
Think about that and remember with me this phenomenal man, now 86 years old – and just recently married to his third wife, a stunningly beautiful blonde who is half a century younger.
They are the parents of Eli Wallace Edwards, born on Aug. 1, 2013.
Edwards served four nonconsecutive terms as governor of Louisiana – and one term of eight years in prison, having been found guilty of 17 counts of money laundering, racketeering, conspiracy and extortion.
The Weekly Standard’s Matt Labash, as part of an extensive feature on Edwards, noted that he had asked Edwin:
“What everyone wants to know but is afraid to ask – what about prison sex? Did he turn to other inmates in the sprawling loneliness of that lost decade? No, he’s proud to inform me. Though there was ‘some young fella that kinda took a liking to me, for want of a better expression – think he had an uncle in politics in Texas. I’d be eating with my friends, and he’d bring me an extra orange or if we had hot dogs, he’d bring me an extra one of his weenies.’
“Late one night, the young man tried to come see Edwards in his room in their low-security prison. ‘I’m very reluctant to hurt people’s feelings … but I said, “What the hell are you doin’ here, man? Get your butt home and get out of here.”‘”
Before the torch-carrier could depart, a guard came, and the man dove behind Edwin’s locker. Not wishing for either of them to get thrown in solitary, Edwards spent several minutes with the guard until he left. He then told the kid to get out and never come back, but Edwards never ratted, he says proudly.
Gov. Edwards is better remembered for a number of memorable statements during his sordid gubernatorial reigns:
- “The only way I can lose is if I’m caught in bed with a dead girl, or a live boy.”
- “Dave Treen is so slow, it takes him an hour and a half to watch ’60 Minutes.’ … If we don’t get Treen out of office, there will be nothing left to steal!”
- When in 1963 Treen asked him during a debate: “How come you talk out of both sides of your mouth?” Edwards replied: “So people like you with only half a brain can understand me!”
- “The only thing I have in common with David Duke (he’s a former member of the Ku Klux Klan) is that we are both wizards under the sheets.”
And then more recently:
- “After 86 years of being a Democrat, I found something good to do with Republicans – sleep with them!” (His wife belongs to the GOP.)
- “If we don’t run the oil down here (through the Keystone pipeline), the Canadians will just sell it to the Chinese – who’ll use it to make cheap oil-based goods like Mardi Gras beads, selling it right back to Louisianans at marked-up prices.”
- “The whole South has become Republican because Nancy Pelosi and many national Democrats want government to be the answer for everything, and it can’t be. … People need self-pride. … Government should be a helping hand, not a hand-out.”
In 2011, Edwards’ supporters petitioned President Obama for a pardon for this immensely colorful person – who in prison had (allegedly) paid his debt to society – so that Edwards might run that year for governor.
Obama did not reply.
Media wishing to interview Les Kinsolving, please contact firstname.lastname@example.org.