The problem with cities is that people who live there vote loony-left – or, to use the technical term, "Democrat." However, in Houston they are learning to regret it.
When the lesbian, sad mayoress decided to enact an ordinance allowing her ilk to terrorize properly brought-up young ladies by exposing their flaccid, rearranged pudenda in the female bathrooms that are now open to males, the city's pastors whipped up a petition that gathered 55,000 signatures – three times the 17,000-odd that were required to squelch the measure unless it were confirmed by a referendum.
The town clerk duly certified that a petition containing at least the required number of signatures had been timeously submitted and received.
However, one should not imagine for an instant that the word "Democrat" means "democrat." The city attorney (replace the "c" in "city" with "sh" and double the "t") decided to rule out just over 38,000 of the signatures on the arbitrary and capricious ground that they were legibly written in capitals, or illegibly written in upper- and lower-case.
With a stroke of his lying pen, this sniveling little creep decided – on no lawful authority at all – that just under the required number of signatures were valid.
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Next, the "mayoron" (adding the suffix "-on" is the favored loopy-doopy method of neutering a word that was once healthily male or female, though it doesn't work too well on words like "uncle" or "aunt") arranged for subpoenas to be issued to the pastors who had collected the signatures, demanding that in future every sermon they proposed to give should be sent to the mayoron's office for clearance.
Now, what one should really do in the face of all this "Democrat" messing about is collapse in fits of laughter. They hate that. For instance, They say of my talks about the non-problem of climate, "He tells jokes! About the climate!! How could he???!?"
As it happens, I'm in Melbourne, Australia, at the moment, preaching a Christian mission in the evangelical churches. (The month-long tour has been extended by two further months by popular demand – book now to avoid disappointment.)
So I know what the red-blooded, muscular-Christian pastors down under would do. They would write magnificent, thunderous sermons 10,000 words in length and send them in by the hundred every week.
And why? Because the mayoron – or someone in her office – would have to read them.
No better method of evangelizing the forces of darkness could possibly have been devised. Come on, guys – start churning out those sermons. And make sure that, buried deep in each multi-thousand-word soliloquy for the Lord, there is a mention of your opposition to homosexuality in all its forms.
That way, they are going to have to sit there and read through millions of words of Christian teaching. And maybe, just maybe, they will find that – having accidentally exposed themselves to the Word of God, they will be unable to resist it, and will be converted, and will join us in the army of light and truth.
Meanwhile, the pastors should, of course, whip up another petition. It shouldn't be at all difficult for them to collect another 17,000-odd signatures, this time each scrupulously following the overzealous requirements of the s--tty attorney.
Also, now that a lesbian transgenderist who has cross-dressed its private parts and has then flaunted them in the female bathroom, horrifying ladies of good taste and breeding who had gone in there, and has then gotten away with it on the barmy ground that prosecuting it for indecency would be "discrimination," guys now have the right to flaunt themselves in bathrooms all over Houston, and so do the gals.
Imagine the fun one could have by going into the bathroom habitually occupied by the "mayoron" and showing her a thing or two. It would soon learn that breaking down all standards of decency has its downside.
Meanwhile, let's do the stats. Let's count the beans. Lesbians, sads, bineuterals and transgenderites represent – wait for it – just 0.5 percent of the population, if that.
How, then, have they wound up spreading their corruption and filth throughout the land to the point where one is beginning to wonder whether it will soon be compulsory?
The answer, of course, is that they have persuaded the "Democrats" to take up their shoddy "cause." For it was long the ambition of the communists to undermine the morality that they had determined was the real strength of the West.
The KGB sedulously fostered the notion that abortion is wonderful, homosexuality tolerable, every perversion normal. Their fellow travelers among the "Democrats" dutifully did as they were told. The KGB is no more, of course, and good riddance, but the damage they did – they and their million agents of influence who were Westerners not known to be communists – lives on.
So, if you think the world has gone mad, don't worry. It always was – a very small percentage of it, at any rate. And the "Democrats," by acting in ever-stupider ways, merely hasten the day when they become permanently unelectable.
The United States will be a far better place for their passing. They will not be missed – except, of course, by those of us who want a really good laugh.
Media wishing to interview Christopher Monckton, please contact [email protected].
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