Oh, how the New York kiddies loved Uncle Don, the deeply beloved children's radio star! One day, as his show was ending and the happy theme music was playing, Uncle Don reminded his loyal, sweet and wonderful little boys and girls to obey their mommies and daddies and be nice to their brothers and sisters and say their prayers and "Don't forget to tune in to Uncle Don again tomorrow, because your Uncle Don loves you a whole, whole lot! Y'hear?"
And that was his final show. Thinking the show was over and the microphone was off, Uncle Don added, "That ought to hold the little bastards!"
That story is not true. I momentarily treated it as true out of admiration for the way Uncle Don handled everything. He had an illustrious career from 1928 to 1947. During the very week he was scheduled to retire, another children's show host, in Philadelphia, of much less stature than Uncle Don, made that unfortunate "bastards" blunder. He was fired. Uncle Don retired with honor, but the coincidence of the timing made it inevitable that just about everybody believed Uncle Don was the vulgar villain fired in disgrace!
Here's why I loved Uncle Don: Instead of hiring lawyers and staging an awkward press conference to "fight this vicious and malicious slander against me and my career," Uncle Don relaxed and enjoyed it. He thought the whole thing was hilarious, and he actually encouraged the identify confusion. What a healthy ego! May his tribe increase!
Anyhow, I'm feeling as if the president of the United States is more and more holding his hand over the microphone after he says what he has to say these days and adding, "That ought to hold the little bastards!" – referring to you and me and the 300 million other Americans who deserve far better than intelligence-insulting, self-serving and condescending comments that any of Uncle Don's fans over the age of 5 could easily nail as a lie. The latest for-instance is his mega-whopper about ISIS. They're not winning, he tries to explain. Obama's the most interesting score-keeper in history. Remember when he counted all the non-voters in 2014 as his voters because they didn't vote against his wishes! Why is ISIS not winning, when the Iraqi government troops facing them drop their weapons and run? "Oh, that's an easy one," Obama seems to think when he explains that ISIS didn't rout the Iraqi troops America had trained, not at all; the ones who ran away were not the Iraqi soldiers trained by America!
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Has anybody had the guts and brains to ask Obama, "Where, then, were the Iraqi troops we did train, when ISIS was taking Ramadi?" I haven't heard one such query. And what are our lickspittle media doing to vault over the head of the president to clue the American people in on this threat to American security? They're uncritically passing along Obama's warning about the real threat to America, namely, "climate change"!
What did the American presidents say when the Japanese destroyed our Pacific fleet at Pearl Harbor or when they turned the western Pacific into a Japanese lake, or when the Germans so easily cut through the American forces in North Africa's Kasserine Pass, or when devastation was lowered upon the American troops retreating from the Chosin Reservoir in Korea? Can you imagine one of them saying what President Obama said after the ISIS capture of Ramadi? He actually said, "Oh, I don't think we're losing. We may have suffered a tactical setback"! I can neither imagine an American president prior to Obama committing such a toxic absurdity, nor can I imagine one remaining president for very long if he ever did.
On the other hand, it shouldn't be too hard to imagine Obama drumming up the nerve to repeal the law of political gravity with a lie that large. After all, look at all the evidence that America's allies are seeking more reliable alternatives, and that four out of six chiefs-of-state invited to the Persian Gulf Coalition Partnership Conference at Camp David refused to attend, a resounding repudiation of Obama. And don't forget the top Saudi leader who lamented that "America was our major ally for 50 years." Columnist Charles Krauthammer wants to make sure we noticed he said "was," not "is"! Have you heard, seen or read anything to suggest the national conversation is bending in the direction of these dire symptoms? Neither have I.
How much can you blame a liar when his audience is too ignorant to follow his tongue? Ignorance, don't forget, is the sperm of apathy. If you don't know, you can't care!
Just as all athletic contests used to begin with the National Anthem, all columns about governments lying to the people should retell the shivering spin twisted by Adolf Hitler's favorite broadcaster, Ludwig Sertorius. After the Second Battle of El Alamein, as the Nazi troops were pitched into history's longest and fastest retreat westward across Egypt and Libya, Sertorius told the German people, "All British attempts to interfere with our orderly and systematic advance to the rear have been successfully foiled!"
Here's one little "bastard" who's tired of being "held"!
Media wishing to interview Barry Farber, please contact [email protected].
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