And hard place
Editor’s note: Do you need something to smile about? Every day, WND selects the best joke offered up by readers and contributors to its Laughlines forum and brings it to you as the WND Joke of the Day. Here is today’s offering:
A Texan, a Frenchman and an Israeli are on a plane flying over the Pacific Ocean when the engines stop functioning. The plane crash lands on a Pacific Island and the three are immediately captured by a tribe of cannibals and taken to their village.
The chief tells the three captives these cannibals are civilized and they have a custom on their island that before they eat anyone, they grant that person his or her last wishes – no matter what they are.
He asks the Texan, “What is your last wish?”
The Texan replies: “I want a 2-inch thick steak with all the trimmings, Cajun fries and a case of Bud.”
The chief motions to some of his tribesmen who immediately run into the jungle and come back with the steak, the fries and the beer. The Texan eats his meal and he is thrown into the pot.
The Frenchman is asked: “What is your last wish?”
He replies: “I’d like a case of Dom Perignon, and I’d also like a big plate of escargots cooked in the French manner.”
The chief motions to his tribesmen who immediately rush off into the jungle and bring back everything the Frenchman asked for. He eats and drinks his fill and is then thrown into the pot.
The chief turns to the Israeli and asks, “And what is your wish?”
The Israeli looks the chief squarely in the eyes and replies: “I want you to kick me in the behind as hard as you can.” The chief is bewildered and asks the Israeli again, only to receive the same reply. “I want you to kick me in the behind as hard as you can.”
The chief shrugs his shoulders, asks the Israeli to turn around and kicks him as hard as he can. With that the Israeli pulls out a gun and kills the chief and all the other cannibals.
The Texan and the Frenchman get out of the pot, look at the Israeli and say: “If you had that gun why didn’t you do anything sooner?”
The Israeli replies: “What? And risk being condemned by the U.N., EU and the State Department for ‘overreacting’ to insufficient provocation?”