I don't know about you, but I can't keep my mind off the post-Obama era.
Every time I hear news about life after Jan. 20, 2017, I feel a tingle up my leg.
So, if you're looking for politics in this column, look elsewhere. I'm simply musing and fantasizing about the days ahead when Barack Obama is merely a private citizen and, among other things, incapable of ordering audits of my tax returns.
So where is he going to live?
Will he move back to Chicago, so he can be near his spiritual guru, Jeremiah Wright? Will he move back to Hawaii where he says he was born? Will he relocate to Kenya or Indonesia?
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Nope – not in the cards.
He's staying right where he is – Washington, D.C., the place from which, in Obama's mind, all good things flow, the Magic Kingdom, the city that makes all your wildest dreams come true.
Of course, that's not what Obama is saying. Once again, Obama is making a selfless act on behalf of his youngest daughter by staying in Washington.
"We're going to have to stay a couple of years so Sasha can finish [high school]," he explained. "Transferring someone in the middle of high school – tough," he added in broken English.
Yeah, it's tough. Switching high schools is one of the hardest things people can be asked to do. It's a known cause of mal-adjustment, suicidal tendencies, other horrendous side effects. No kid should be asked to do it. Wherever a family happens to be when their kids are in high school, there they should stay. Shame on parents who move in the middle of those important years. It's so good to know Obama has his priorities straight.
What is Obama going to do to support his family during this sacrificial time? He didn't say. But, I hear the pension is good, and he'll continue with Secret Service protection for many years.
Sasha is 14 and a sophomore at Sidwell Friends, an exclusive private school. It is not known whether they have transsexual-compliant restrooms and locker rooms there, but, as a private school, it would be exempt from Obama's decree to all public schools throughout the country to permit gender-confused students to use any facility they like.
Meanwhile, Malia Obama graduates from the same school next month. She's going to take a year off before heading to Harvard in the fall of 2017. Maybe her dad and mom will take a year off, too. Will Sasha be the only one working?
So where will they live?
Looks like they have their sights set on a nine-bedroom, eight-bathroom home in D.C.'s tony Kalorama neighborhood, where the Obamas will rub shoulders with ambassadors, industry titans and public servants who somehow got rich while working in government.
The 8,000 square-foot, $6.35 million house is owned by one of those former public servants – Joe Lockhart, who made his fortune as press secretary to Bill Clinton and senior adviser to then-Sen. John Kerry. Kerry made his millions before government service. He married rich women.
By the way, if you're wondering why the NFL has become so politically correct, maybe you can blame Lockhart. In January, he became executive vice president of communications for the NFL and moved to New York City – freeing up Obama's new digs.
Best of all for the Obamas is that the house is only a block away – walking distance! – from the Islamic Center of Washington. It's one of the most heavily policed neighborhoods in Washington. Why? Because they don't want any crime taking place there – that's why! Lots of foreign dignitaries live there – ambassadors and foreign embassy officials. The embassy of Oman is right there, for heaven's sake.
Obama will become the first president to remain in Washington since Woodrow Wilson in 1921.
That demonstrates his love for the place. But, of course, he's making a sacrifice, indeed, for poor Sasha. Wouldn't want to pull her out of high school right in the middle. Wouldn't be fittin'. It's tough. That's the main reason. He said it himself.
Media wishing to interview Joseph Farah, please contact [email protected].
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