Shock jock Howard Stern

Shock jock Howard Stern

Famous shock jock Howard Stern just blew gun-control arguments out of the water with a masterful analogy about American sheep under attack by vicious terrorist wolves.

Imagine you’re a defenseless sheep in a pasture filled with hundreds of other sheep, all like sitting ducks when a bloodthirsty wolf appears in the dead of night.

"OK, who's got the gun?"

“OK, who’s got the gun?”

And you hope the shepherds and sheep dogs will protect you and your family from the ruthless beasts – which are slaughtering and eating all your neighbors.

But there’s a big problem.

The shepherds and sheep dogs are nowhere in sight.

They’re protecting other defenseless sheep on the other side of the pasture.

What do you do?

You whip out your pistol or AR-15 and blast the savage wolves into oblivion – because that’s the only way innocent lives will be saved.

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Stern ripped into gun-control advocates who would deprive the American people – the innocent, unsuspecting sheep – of their ability to protect themselves from terrorist wolves, especially after Muslim shooter Omar Mateen massacred 49 people at a gun-free nightclub and injured 53 more on June 12:

“I’m so upset about Orlando and what went down,” he said. “But I can’t believe these people who come out afterward, and their answer to Orlando is to take away guns from the public. It’s f—ing mindblowing to me. …

“The military – and they don’t mean it as a derogatory statement – but they look at the public as sheep. And think about it. We are sheep. Most of us sit around all day. We don’t know how to defend ourselves. We are in a flock. And we basically think everything’s OK. Except the wolves, the bad guys – whether they be ISIS or terrorists, homegrown or otherwise, ISIL, Daesh, the common thug, whatever. They’re wolves. They look at them as wolves.

“The military and police look at themselves as sheep dogs. They’re warriors, but they’re on the good side. You know, they’re protecting us. …

“It’s such a perfect analogy. And people go, ‘Well, if we take away [the guns].’ Now think about this, in France, they have the tightest gun-control laws on the planet. The terrorists all had AR-15s. They have Glocks. They have every kind of pistol. They’ve got missile launchers.

“Now let’s use the analogy of sheep. Now we’re all here. We’re sheep. We’re sitting here, ‘La, da, da, da, da. I’m gonna work hard. I love my family. Baaah!’

“Now let’s say I walked up to a sheep herd. And they know at night, every night the wolves pick off a couple of them. What if I went up to the sheep and said, ‘You want to have a shot at the wolves? I’m gonna give you a pistol. You can actually even the playing field with these wolves whose fangs are out – you could shoot them and save your family.’ ‘Well, Baaah, we’re not gonna do that! We don’t want to fight ba-a-a-a-a-ck. He didn’t hurt us. He only hurt the family down the street. And the shepherds will protect us. The sheep dogs are out there. They’ll protect us.’

“Well, the sheep dogs are protecting you, but some of them can’t be with you. There’s not a sheep dog for every citizen, and a wolf is still eating one of you every night. ‘Baaah, I know what. Let’s remove all the guns from the sheep.’ What? There’s an idea! Let’s take back all the guns from the people who might be willing to shoot the wolves.

“So then you go, wait a second. What if we had a completely gun-free zone?

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“Now, I’m gonna tell you about the most gun-free zone on the planet. It happened during 9/11. It was on a plane. You know you can’t get a gun on a plane. It’s completely gun free. So what did the wolves do? They said, ‘This is great! We’ll just kill the sheep with box cutters. They went on the plane with box cutters, and all the sheep went, ‘Baaah!’

“Now if there had been an Air Marshal on that plane, a whole f—ing other thing would have gone down. There wouldn’t have been no 9/11.

“See, the wolves are always plotting. They’ll use box cutters. They’ll use an airplane and fly it right into a building. They don’t need AR-15s.

“Nazi Germany – which, by the way, didn’t happen 1,000 years ago – it happened within my dad’s lifetime. It’s not that long ago. Can you imagine if the Jews, at least when the Nazis were banging on the door, if they had a couple of pistols and AR-15s to fight the Nazis? If Anne Frank’s father had a f—ing gun? Maybe at least he could have taken a few Nazis out.

“Now why would the sheep say, ‘Oh, we’ve got an answer to all of the terrorism, all these bad wolves that are coming after us. We’ll just hand in all our guns. We’re gonna hand them in. Baaah. You know who will protect us? The government, or the police’?

“That’s a bad f—ing idea!

“Now I don’t like violence. I don’t like any of this stuff, but I consider myself a sheep. And I want the police to protect me. I support the police. I want the government to protect me.

“But guess what? Most of your politicians all have private security. … So they’re OK. Those are sheep that are very well protected. You, on the other hand, you’re a sitting duck. If you’re a sitting duck, do you want a fighting chance or not? I don’t understand it.

“I’ll tell you the truth. I’m not real good at protecting [myself]. You can give me 5,000 guns. I wouldn’t be good at protecting myself. I’m just a sheep. I’ll admit it. But I’m not for taking away people’s rights.

“I think the answer doesn’t lie in taking any kind of ability of the sheep to protect themselves from the wolves. I really don’t. I wish it were that simple. In France, they’ve done it very effectively. The population is not armed, but unfortunately the wolves are. … Listen, the kids at the Boston Marathon, they just made a bomb.”

Later in the show, Stern said Americans had better not just assume they can rely on their military.

“The military takes orders from their commander in chief,” he said. “You get a f—ing nutty commander in chief, and you’d better be armed. Because what the f— is gonna happen then?”

Noting that the “nutty” president could turn on Americans, Stern added: “That’s what happened when Hitler came to power.”

(Warning: The following link contains audio with several expletives that may offend some listeners.)

Listen to Howard Stern explode gun-control logic. 

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