By Bucky Fox
Oh, how presidents going back to George Washington would've yearned to tweet like the master, Donald Trump.
Abe Lincoln could've sold the Emancipation Proclamation straight to the people.
Harry Truman could've spelled out the Berlin Airlift, Korean War and so much else on his desk that exclaimed "The Buck Stops Here."
Richard Nixon could've unveiled his Vietnamization strategy without being prisoner to the TV networks' instant analysis.
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Each message would have materialized at the touch of the country's chief executive.
Not that presidents in the Stone Age were totally hamstrung. They simply grabbed their day's cutting-edge technology. For Calvin Coolidge, it was radio, and in 1923 he took advantage by delivering the first presidential address over the airwaves. A decade later Franklin Roosevelt was giving his fireside chats via the same medium. Next came TV, with Truman giving a live speech in 1947. Then Bill Clinton entered the online realm with a Web chat in 1999. As One America News Network says while reporting that history, "Like so many before him, President Trump is using the technology of the times, making sure his message is heard clearly and directly by Americans all over."
What if Twitter really did chirp throughout presidential history? The 140-character-max tweets might look like these:
George Washington @FirstPrez
Just starting out as we Make America Great. I'd say that in, oh, 2017 the new president will have to add Again. #MAGA
John Adams @JohnQuincyDad
Avoiding war with France as easy as XYZ.
Thomas Jefferson @DeclarationDude
Little Napoleon gives us Louisiana territory for a song. Just the note we want to strike as we double the size of America.
James Madison @ConstitutionAce
No stinkin fire can burn down this country.
James Monroe @ThePearl
In case any power dreams of bullying this hemisphere, hear this: Stay the blazes away. If I have to spell it out again, read my #Doctrine.
John Quincy Adams @SonOfTheSecond
Canals, roads to link the country. We need them, people.
Andrew Jackson @BoldHickory
South Carolina wants to do WHAT? Quit the Union? Riiiiight. That'll happen over my dead body.
Martin Van Buren @OK
Proud to be the first prez born in the United States after we became a country.
William Harrison @Tippecanoe
Don't think I'm making it after one month in office. Should've worn that coat at the inaugural.
John Tyler @TylerToo
I have 15 children, with some of them running around here. Gotta be a record.
James Polk @ExpandMan
One day we'll need a Wall to ward off Mexicans. For now a winning war against them works just fine. Suddenly the U.S. is twice as big.
Zachary Taylor @RoughNReady
Keeping America whole if that means putting my Army uniform back on.
Millard Fillmore @KnowSomething
So France wants Hawaii. Translate this: Hell no.
Franklin Pierce @Brigadier
Happy to have Jefferson Davis as war secretary. What could go wrong?
James Buchanan @NoWifeForMe
Southern states breaking away with a vengeance. Not my problem for long.
Abraham Lincoln @HonestAbe
Lucky to finally find a general who takes no prisoners. Go get em, Grant.
Andrew Johnson @AfterTheStorm
President Lincoln's murder the darkest tragedy. Don't know how I'll live up to him.
Ulysses Grant @StarGeneral
It's a new day for blacks in our country. They're free. Got that? If not, troops will clarify.
Rutherford Hayes @MiddleInitialB
Talk about living on the edge. Just installed a phone in the White House. The number is 1. Call me.
James Garfield @Battler
Using my Civil War experience to fight patronage.
Chester Arthur @VermontToNYC
Just opened the Brooklyn Bridge, spanning all the way to Manhattan. Tremendous city and country.
Grover Cleveland @NotFromOhio
20 years after the Civil War, a Democrat enters the White House. We're back.
Benjamin Harrison @LikeGranddad
Time for the Navy to rule the waves.
William McKinley @RememberTheGain
Who knew Spain's reign over Cuba and the Philippines would end after just 4 months of war? I sure didn't. #WattaWin
Theodore Roosevelt @RoughRider
Soft talk, big stick. When it comes to standing up for this country, with assimilation at the forefront, I'm no Teddy Bear.
William Taft @Huge
Glad the White House brought in a tub built for a true heavyweight. Me. Won't be getting stuck in it.
Woodrow Wilson @OuttaTheirLeague
Triumph in the Great War made me feel giddy. Now America says no to the League of Nations. I'm sick over it.
Warren Harding @Normalcy
Slashing government spending. About time.
Calvin Coolidge @CoolCal
Taking an ax to tax rates. Now watch the '20s roar.
Herbert Hoover @ChickenInEveryPot
Stock market crash can't be that bad, can it?
Franklin Roosevelt @4Terms4Delano
Navy was obliterated. Army was training with horses and wooden guns. Now? The Arsenal of Democracy is crushing Hitler and Tojo.
Harry Truman @GiveEmHell
Just dropped the 2nd A-bomb on Japan. That should clinch it. Turns out America is smarter, tougher and meaner than the scum that smashed Pearl Harbor.
Dwight Eisenhower @YouLikeIke
We're not wasting America's time in the Suez and Hungary. If we're going to lay out something, it's the Interstate Highway System.
John Kennedy @JFK
Gotta say my call for a man on moon and safe return within the decade is the nuttiest notion since Babe Ruth pointed to center. Then again, he hit it out.
Lyndon Johnson @LBJ
Tax cuts the size of Texas. Now let's do the same for spending.
Richard Nixon @ThePrrrresident
Now this is #Winning with honor. Secured South Vietnam a la South Korea. The commies can't humiliate America. Only Congress can do that.
Gerald Ford @FordNotALincoln
Rescued the Mayaguez and its crew, thanks to our brave Marines and airmen. God, is Cambodia red swill.
Jimmy Carter @Peanuts
Stop every press in history. Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat shook on it. The Middle East is in good hands, no?
Ronald Reagan @Cowboy
Gorbachev will tear down that Wall, believe me. Next to drop into the ash heap of history: USSR.
George H.W. Bush @Poppy
Read my lips: Saddam's going up in flames along with those oil wells in Kuwait.
Bill Clinton @ComebackKid
Gave Hillary the keys to health care. I'm sure she won't crash it.
George W. Bush @Dubya
The terrorists who knocked those buildings down are in for some serious shock and awe.
Barack Obama @HowWeRoll
Cuba back in the fold. Let's light up a cigar to that.
Donald Trump @POTUS
Privileged to follow presidential Twitter tradition, that I can tell you.