Bananapocalypse – it's coming
"Yes! We Have No Bananas." So the song used to go. The 1923 novelty hit was so popular it inspired the following short:
Song writer Frank Silver penned the catchy lyrics he attributed to a Greek fruit monger outside the Long Island hotel where his band was playing. The immigrant's every sentence began with "Yesss" even if there were no bananas. But while Silver poked fun at minor inconvenience – and immigrant-speak that would be dubbed cultural insensitivity today – an actual worldwide banana shortage hit in the1950s.
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The Gros Michel, the favored variety of the yellow staple also known as Big Mike, was all but wiped out after a blight of Panama disease attacked plantations across Central America. Stubbier and sweeter than the elongated Cavendish we know today, the banana Americans knew and loved for its longer-lasting freshness and bruise resistance was no more – at least, not in the numbers required to export en masse.
Today growers are concerned that the same fate awaits the Cavendish which comprises 99 percent of bananas sold in the United States.
Being seedless, the Gros Michel cultivars are clones just like the Cavendish. Nobody wants seeds in their bananas. They're big, hard, and take up all the space where the tasty bits are supposed to be. But breeding the seeds out (or rendering them so small as to be non-functional) equates to new banana plants having to be grown via shoots and cuttings. The lack of genetic diversity in the species spells disaster for the plant's ability to mutate to combat assorted diseases.
So, while the static Cavendish rose in favor due to its immunity to Panama disease, Panama disease evolved. This new strain of Fusarium wilt, commonly known as TR4, is menacing the poor clones. Plantations in Australia and Southeast Asia have taken a pounding over the past decade. Carried on the boots of plantation workers, the fungus is easily spread and is now reported in Africa and the Middle East.
But the fight is on … in the lab and now in the fields.
"In a hot, dry field near a place called Humpty Doo in Australia's Northern Territory, scientists are racing to begin an experiment that could determine the future of the world's most popular fruit, the lowly banana," reports the Washington Post.
Having isolated a resistant gene in the subspecies Musa acuminate – a sweet variety of banana that seemed to thrive in devastated fields – scientists are now seeking to try out their test tube banana cross. It's the better option to combat the fungus, "without eliminating taste, texture and other characteristics that make it (the Cavendish) so appealing and commercially successful."
So fingers crossed. "Yes! We have no bananas" may sound cute in a classic ditty … but not at the grocery store.
F-bombs bursting in air …
Some may ascribe to the argument "One man's vulgarity is another man's lyric," a phrase popularized in the free-speech case of Cohn vs. California. The 1971 Supreme Court decided that Paul Robert Cohn was not guilty of offensive conduct for wearing a jacket emblazoned with "F*** the Draft" in an L.A. County Courthouse and later in the presence of women and children.
But whether one agrees with that ruling or not isn't the issue. The reality is that in some states, laws against vulgar expression are still on the books … and enforced. Don't believe it? Check out the following clip from Michigan:
Potty-mouth poetry is similarly discouraged in Virginia. "The Arlington County Board just approved a measure increasing penalties for public intoxication and blue language from $100 to $250," the Washingtonian reports. South Carolina public ordinances against salty language were also upheld when the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals decided against Krystal Johnson who was within 50 to 60 yards of a church when she exploded with a particularly colorful verse.
The outburst wasn't planned, mind you, or maliciously intended; but rather blurted in an understandable moment of frustration with a family member who would not give Johnson her car keys. According to News EUM Institute, "The appeals court reasoned that the law was constitutional because it only prohibited 'fighting words' defined by the U.S. Supreme Court in Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire as words which by their utterance or inflict immediate injury or cause an immediate breach of the peace."
Rockville, Maryland municipal code statute reads as follows:
Sec. 13-53. - Profanity; violation of section declared misdemeanor.
(a) A person may not profanely curse and swear or use obscene language upon or near any street, sidewalk or highway within the hearing of persons passing by, upon or along such street, sidewalk or highway.
(b) A person may not act in a disorderly manner by profanely cursing, swearing or using obscene language.
(c) Any person who violates this section is guilty of a misdemeanor.
"And in 2012, residents of a small suburb outside of Boston voted for a $20 fine for people with filthy mouths," City Lab reports.
So, what say you? Is this free speech or foul-mouthed air pollution deserving of fines? Let us know; but watch the language if you're in public when commenting.
Bad dog – shame on you!
Slut shaming? Forget it! Fat shaming? Boo on you. But if you want to shame a dog, well, make a video and watch it go viral. Don't believe it? Check out the video below to see how far folks will go to cast shade on man's best friend – maybe the reason canines are being targeted:
Not that bad? The dogs actually seem to hold themselves culpable. Well, how about this one?
Note how the poor dogs are assigned charges. They cannot read and subsequently cannot answer to the charges.
Who knows? If enough attention is drawn to this pop-culture abomination, maybe PETA will step it up. In the meantime, those with eyes and ears will take the hint that while humans are being bred to become increasingly immune to that which should make them blush, dogs know better.