Editor’s note: Do you need something to smile about? Every day, WND selects the best joke offered up by readers and contributors to its Laughlines forum and brings it to you as the WND Joke of the Day. Here is today’s offering:
A British general had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Islands crisis. Upon returning to England, three soldiers who had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the general’s office.
“Since we weren’t actually at war,’ the general began, ‘I can’t give you any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What we’ve decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. Well start on the left, boys, so what’ll it be?”
Soldier 1: “The tip of me head to me toes, sir!”
General: “Very good son, that’s 70 inches, which comes to 140 pounds.”
Soldier 2: “The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!”
General: “Even better son, that’s 72 inches, which comes to 144 pounds.”
Soldier 3: “The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sir!”
General: “That’s a strange and modest request, son, but as you wish!
The general begins the measurement: “What! Son, where is your left pinky?”
Soldier 3: “Falkland Islands, sir!”