Pluto: The Rodney Dangerfield of planets

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- Suppose you're the planet Pluto, and suddenly a coven of astronomers, uh, I mean, a clutch of scientists, gets a bug up their collective butt and demotes you. more…

Joshua of Jericho Street: The untold story

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- Editors note: This column, set 25 years in the future, is purely a work of satire and invention.FADE IN SCENE: OUTSIDE "JERICHO HOUSE," PRIVATE RESIDENTIAL REHAB CENTER, DOWNTOWN more…

The Sportswear Empire Strikes Back

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- Fascinatingly enough, Reebok, the global clothing conglomerate, recently signed voluptuous cinema goddess Scarlett Johansson to prop up a drooping, um, bottom line by creating her own sports-inspired fashion more…

Bomb me, bomb you: Not knowing when to stop

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- Few among the self-styled military geniuses of our time – infatuated with the notion of war or even nukes as the answer to anything– seem to remember the more…

Is happiness really too much trouble?

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- Have alarming world events plunged you into a serious funk? Are close friends – tired of your Toxic Waste-Dump Talk Syndrome tape-loop tendencies involving endlessly telling and retelling more…

Leader Malfunction: Dubya's power back rub

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- I guess if Hugh Grant can credibly portray the prime minister of England in "Love, Actually," the Bushling can imitate, um, the putative presidunk of the United States more…

Punch line to an obscene war

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- Small wonder nations foolishly go to war against each other again and again and again, like they're doing right now and apparently for all eternity in any medium more…

Who 'killed' Kenny the fraudmeister?

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- My first reaction to early headlines screaming out the so-called "death" of convicted corporate mega-crook and White House crony Ken Lay – supposedly "from a massive coronary" – more…

666? Apocalypse Meow!

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- Finally it can be told: This June, on 6-6-06 – the presumed morning of the Apocalypse – I awakened feeling bereft after a really odd dream. Since I more…

Where there's smoke there's ire

by Maralyn Lois Polak -- Friend of mine, let's call her "Iris," keeps trying to stop smoking. Been having a devil of a time quitting. Oh, periodically "Iris" will get disgusted with herself more…