All the attention on the 60th anniversary of D-Day and the invasion that led to the defeat of Nazi Germany raises an obvious question: Could we ever successfully storm the beaches of Normandy in the 21st century – this age of entitlement, this moment of multiculturalism, this period of political correctness?

Here's what I think would happen if we tried:

• Seymour Hersh would get wind of the operation and file a Freedom Of Information Act suit to reveal the exact nature of the battle plans.

• Sen. Patty Murray, D-Wash., would introduce a bill to cut off funding: "Beaches should be a place for families, not for fighting."

• Former Vice President Al Gore would immediately demand an environmental impact study: "There are endangered aquatic species living off the coast of Normandy. Are we prepared to provide for their protection? What's the value of defeating the juggernaut of world fascism if it costs us the escargot darter?"

• The American Civil Liberties Union, citing the Americans With Disabilities Act, would insist that the right to fight on the sands of Utah and Omaha not be arbitrarily limited to the ambulatory: "At a minimum, we expect an advance party of Navy SEALS to build wheelchair ramps."

• National Organization for Women leaders would object to the operation's name: "'Overlord' perpetuates patriarchy. We call on the Pentagon to rename this 'Operation Total Equality.'"

• Americans for Stutterer Rights would have problems with the name "D-Day."

• The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation would suggest the phrase "I Like Ike" is a violation of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

• Dick Gregory would go on a hunger strike until the Germans agreed to withdraw from France.

• Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., would argue that we haven't given economic sanctions enough time to work.

• The NAACP, claiming racial bias, would call for the renaming of the White Cliffs of Dover. The term "blackouts" would also have to go.

• Former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders would suggest all GIs be equipped with condoms before shipping off to France: "We teach our soldiers what to do in the driver's seat of an armored personnel carrier, but we don't teach them what to do in the backseat of a Renault."

• Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., would demand no-smoking sections on all landing craft: "Entering an environment where casualties of 75 percent are anticipated is dangerous enough. I see no reason to magnify that danger with the addition of second-hand smoke."

• Professor Lani Guinier would urge we respect the rights of the smaller army in combat and conduct ourselves in the highest standards of fair play: "It would not be appropriate for the Allies to simply overwhelm the Germans with superior forces."

• Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., would criticize the choice of weapons used by the Marines: "There's a reason these arms are called 'assault weapons.' They are made to do only one thing: Kill people."

• Ralph Nader would question the safety of the tanks to be deployed in the battle. "NBC Dateline" would follow up with a report showing that they actually blow up when hit by an artillery round.

• Rep. Richard Gephardt, D-Mo., would declare a trade war on the Germans.

• Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., would invest in munitions futures, profit handsomely from the return and know nothing about how it all happened.

• Former President Clinton would suggest a stern warning to the Germans: "If we don't see genuine improvement in your behavior, you guys are risking your Most Favored Nation Status!"

So, you can see, it would not be easy mounting a D-Day offensive in this day and age. But when you get right down to it, World War II was just an effort to save Europe. Perhaps Americans are too Eurocentric anyway. After all, who cares about a bunch of dead white men anyway?

(Writer's note: Thanks to inspiration from Scott Kaufer and Jeff Silverman.)