I have never known a time when the family is under attack like it is today – from those who want to redefine what it is to those who simply want to undermine it. Our culture is largely hostile toward the family and everything it stands for.

And when it comes to marriage, I would venture to say that our society doesn't know anything about what it takes to have a successful marriage. Take, for example, Hollywood celebrities whose marriages seem to last for about eight minutes before they end in divorce.

If you want to have a lasting marriage, you need to find a credible source on the subject. And that credible source is the Creator of marriage – God himself. In fact, the Bible speaks clearly and directly about how to have a successful marriage.

I know a little bit about marriage and a little bit about divorce. Although I have never been divorced, my mother was married and divorced seven times. So for many years of my childhood, I observed what not to do in marriage. And later, when I was about to get married, I knew that I was making a lifelong commitment that I planned, by the grace of God, to keep.

Because I am a pastor, people will sometimes ask me to redo their vows. While I don't have a problem with this, I have never felt a great desire to redo my vows, because I haven't broken them. I think having said them once is good enough, because I meant my vows when I said them, and I know that my wife meant them when she said them as well.

I remember the day we got married as though it were yesterday. My wife was a vision of beauty, while I looked like something the cat dragged in. Not only did I wear the ugliest tuxedo ever made, but I had long hair and a big, bushy, red beard. As I look at our wedding photos now, I wonder what I was thinking. But my wife could see that underneath all that hair was a bald man.

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We sought to build our marriage on biblical principles, and our love has only grown stronger. I know they work, not only because they are from the pages of Scripture, but because I have seen them work.

Yet sometimes people don't always like what the Bible has to say on the subject. One of the first questions I will ask couples who come to me for marriage counseling is whether they are both Christians. They usually will say yes. Then I will ask them whether they both believe the Bible is the Word of God. Again, they usually will say yes. Then I ask them, "Are you willing to do what the Bible says, even if you find it difficult?"

The reason is that I have yet to meet a couple who is planning to get divorced and is also doing what the Bible says. I don't think I ever will. Because if a couple does what God says, they will not be headed for divorce court. And if they don't do what God says, then it is only a matter of time until they will have trouble.

Most divorces I have seen could have been averted, but the couple just didn't want to stick with it. Yet wedlock should be a padlock. And if a couple is willing to do marriage God's way, then they are in for a great adventure and great blessings beyond their wildest dreams.

The Bible offers some very specific guidelines for husbands and wives, and we find some of them in the Book of Ephesians. The apostle Paul penned this letter to Christians living in Ephesus, the capital of the Roman province of Asia. Not only was Ephesus a busy commercial port and an affluent area, but it was also the headquarters for the cult of the goddess Diana. Immorality was rampant throughout Ephesus, with thousands of temple prostitutes who combed the streets of the city, looking for potential recruits to drag off to the temple and engage in sexual rites as they offered worship to this false deity. So the Ephesian Christians were godly people living in a godless place.

Paul got down to brass tacks, effectively telling them, "I am going to spell it out for you. As followers of Jesus, you can't live this way anymore. No more of this." And before he began addressing the individual roles of the husband and wife, he gave this command: "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil" (Ephesians 5:16–17 NKJV). This word "circumspectly" carries the basic meaning of something that is accurate and exact. It conveys the idea of looking, examining, or investigating something with great care, like a contract that you are about to sign. It is attention to detail.

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In the same way, a successful marriage is the result of attention to detail. Good marriages don't just happen randomly or by accident. They happen because people apply what the Bible says. And for all practical purposes, to be the husband or the wife God wants you to be requires you to acknowledge that you need his help.

Paul also spoke of "redeeming the time, because the days are evil." In other words, "Make the most of your time. Get these things sorted out. Get your house in order."

Is your house in order? Is your marriage what God wants it to be?

When life comes to an end, there are only a handful of things that really will matter. It will come down to faith, family and to a lesser extent, friends. The thing you will be thinking about is your faith – your relationship with God or lack thereof. Often when I speak with people who are at death's door, their thoughts and their concerns are about God and their relationship with him, and that is entirely appropriate. Then their thoughts go to family, and often the recognition that there may have been failures and shortcomings.

Everything else that was important prior to that doesn't mean anything at that point. So these are the things that we want to get right.

Every marriage will be tested, so you have to keep at it. Apply yourself. Pay attention to the details. If you will do that, then God will bless your marriage. And you will withstand whatever test comes your way.