I am happy to announce that I have won the 2011 New York City Marathon.
Truthfully, I don't deserve the coveted trophy, as I don't even go jogging, never mind running.
But, using the same logic the self-righteous International Nobel Committee of misguided European liberals used to award Barack Hussein Obama and Mohamed Mostafa ElBaradei the once-meaningful Nobel Peace Prize for doing absolutely nothing that would make our world safer, it appears that I also deserve the recognition.
The IAEA – the Vienna-based U.N. nuclear watchdog – last Thursday finally expressed "concern" for the first time that Iran may currently be working on ways to turn enriched uranium into a nuclear warhead, instead of having stopped several years ago.
Do we need to see a mushroom cloud before the Impotent Assembly of Eminent Incompetents (IAEA) sees the light after the often-repeated threats of Iranian madman Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who has publicly advocated wiping off the map another member of the United Nations?
Such well-established "free democracies," like Iran, Cuba, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Egypt, China, the Vatican, Venezuela, Libyan Arab Jamahiriya and Syria are prominent among IAEA's member states, and until recently it was headed by a colorless Egyptian puppet, ElBaradei, who upon his triumphant retirement was last week welcomed back to Cairo and hailed as a national hero.
The IAEA's report appears to contradict the appallingly naive assessment by Washington that Tehran suspended such activities in 2003. It appears to coincide with the concerns of several U.S. allies that Iran may never have suspended enrichment.
The U.S. assessment itself may be revised and is currently being looked at again by American intelligence agencies.
In a report prepared for its 35 board nations, the International Atomic Energy Agency also said that Iran managed to make a batch of near 20-percent enriched uranium within days of starting production from lower-enriched material.
Higher enrichment brings Iran nearer to the capability of making fissile warhead material, should the Islamic republic opt to do so.
Iran, of course, with a straight face continues to deny any interest in developing nuclear arms. But the confidential IAEA report, made available to the Associated Press, said Iran's resistance to agency attempts to probe for signs of a nuclear cover-up "give rise to concerns about possible military dimensions to Iran's nuclear program."
The language of the report – the first written by Yukiya Amano, who became IAEA head in December – appeared to be more directly critical of Iran's refusal to cooperate with the IAEA than most previous ones under his predecessor, Mohamed ElBaradei.
For the first time ever, the IAEA report strongly suggested that intelligence supplied by the U.S., Israel and other IAEA member regarding Iran's attempts to use the cover of a civilian nuclear program to move toward a weapons program was more than compelling.
"The information available to the agency ... is broadly consistent and credible in terms of the technical detail, the time frame in which the activities were conducted and the people and organizations involved," said the report, prepared for next month's IAEA board meeting.
"Altogether, this raises concerns about the possible existence in Iran of past or current undisclosed activities related to the development of a nuclear payload for a missile," said the report.
In plain English: The nuclear clock is ticking very, very fast.
The world, led by the Obama administration, is still thinking about sanctions. All we have to do is just look back in recent history and think of how utterly ineffective sanctions were in Iraq.
IAEA 's new chief, Yukiya Amano, ironically is Japanese.
Surely he should know better.
It was a short few months before his birth that his homeland saw its skies and cities consumed by two mushroom clouds.
If President Obama thinks that the same nuclear technology in the hands of a fundamentalist Islamic regime in a matter of months is only a threat to Israel alone and therefore does not warrant an American military response, we may wake up soon to see a devastating radiation device of some kind showing up in New York City and Washington, D.C.
The White House advisers should start thinking of the unthinkable: visualizing the day when instead of Hiroshima's haunting Gembaku Dome, the world might see the charred skeleton of the Capitol Building.
Impossible to imagine?
So was Sept. 11.
Who will get the Nobel Peace Prize then?
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Gabriel Erem is a journalist and a child of Holocaust survivors.