Matchmaker's marriage goal disqualifies 'gays'

eHarmony founder Neil Clark Warren

The popular matchmaking service eHarmony.com rejects homosexuals from its profiling and matching services because its goal is marriage, and that isn't legal for "gays" in most states, the founder has said.

The site, one of the most popular matchmaking operations in the nation, is facing new accusations in a lawsuit brought by a lesbian who alleges the company discriminated against her because of her sexual choices.

While eHarmony did not respond to WND requests for a comment about the situation, founder Neil Clark Warren has said several times that his company's evaluation and analysis procedures are intended to result in long-term relationships, ideally marriage, and that's why they do not apply to those choosing a homosexual lifestyle.

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A Salon.com report by writer Rebecca Traister addressed that specific issue in a recent article – before the lawsuit was filed.

"When I asked Warren about his refusal to serve same-sex couples, he listed several reasons for his policy. 'First, we're into marriage,' he said, pointing out that gay unions remain illegal in almost every state. He also doesn't feel there is adequate research on how men can be matched up with other men, or women with women," Traister wrote.

She said that Warren reported various business interests have approached him about building a service designed specifically for homosexuals, but he's turned them down for those reasons.

"We've got thousands of years of history of the human race in which this [homosexuality] was never treated as a marriage and there are a lot of people who think it's just not going to have the same kind of stability over time," Traister said Warren told her.

The accusations of discrimination arose when a northern California woman, Linda Carlson, filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles County Superior Court alleging she was denied services by the company. She had tried to use the site in February to meet a woman but could not, because of her sexual lifestyle choice.

She reported she complained to the company, which refused to change its policy.

A prepared statement was released in which Carlson said, "Such outright discrimination is hurtful and disappointing for a business open to the public in this day and age."

Her complaint names Warren, his wife Marylyn, and the Pasadena-based company as defendants.

The company's formal response was immediate, and aligned with Warren's earlier concerns.

"The research that eHarmony has developed, through years of research, to match couples has been based on traits and personality patterns of successful heterosexual marriages," the company said. "Nothing precludes us from providing same-sex matching in the future, it's just not a service we offer now based upon the research we have conducted."

Carlson's lawyer, Todd Schneider, said the company's signup procedures include only options for being a man seeking a woman or a woman seeking a man – nothing else.

"If you fail to put anything in that box and hit resubmit you get an error message," he said.

Carlson said she brought the lawsuit against eHarmony instead of choosing among the dozens, if not hundreds, of other matchmaking sites that do refer homosexuals, because of its reputation for positive results.

Warren is a clinical psychologist who has written several books about dating and relationships. He also has a ministry degree and worked closely with the Colorado Springs-based Focus on the Family, which published his first three books.

His Internet company grew out of his work, including his 1992 book, "Finding the Love of Your Life," which is a primer on what people should look for in a marriage partner.

He ended up with 29 "dimensions of compatibility" he believes must exist for a couple to enjoy marriage, including "mood management," "spirituality," and "sexual passion."

He believes at least 25 should match in ideal couples, and eHarmony.com has been granted U.S. Patent No. 6,735,568 for the process.

But unlike many matchmaking services, eHarmony also has focused on long-term relationships, especially marriage, which aligns with Warren's early work with Focus on the Family's Christian base and perspective.

It was one appearance on James Dobson's radio program, in 2001, that triggered a response of 90,000 new referrals to the website, he noted, starting a climb of registered participants on the site from 4,000 to 350,000.

It now claims a membership in the millions, as well as thousands of successful – so far – marriages.

But while some of the early promotions for eHarmony boasted that it was "based on the Christian principles of Focus on the Family author Dr. Neil Clark Warren," it now is advertised without a religious reference.

"We're trying to reach the whole world ? people of all spiritual orientations, all political philosophies, all racial backgrounds," Warren told a news magazine.

Most other sites let users pick their own dates, but eHarmony requires answers to 436 questions, and then the company sends potential matches.

And homosexuals are not alone in being rejected from eHarmony. The company reports turning away about one in six who take the personality test because they would offer poor marriage prospects.

Warren has said he continues to be passionate about his Christian faith. But at the same time, he told USA Today, the public he wants to serve is the world.

The dispute already has started drawing support for eHarmony from other ministries and groups working to fight the homosexual agenda of normalization of such lifestyle choices.

"Doesn't eHarmony.com and its Christian founder have a fundamental right to promote traditional marriages between a man and a woman – and not cater to unnatural 'unions?'" asked Peter LaBarbera, of Americans For Truth.

"Will this and all private American companies be forced to promote the homosexual agenda?" he asked.

"There are plenty of places offering 'match' services for homosexual couples – just try any (liberal) 'City Paper,' where all sorts of disordered unions can be arranged," said LaBarbera. "But no, eHarmony must bend to the tiny minority of homosexual militants who have no regard for others' liberties – including your freedom to live out your religious beliefs as you see fit."

"If they capitulate, it will only lead to innumerable other lawsuits. Who's next? Christian-owned day care centers? Summer camps run by orthodox Jews? The message coming from liberal, pro-homosexual activists here is simple: you can have your beliefs in your church or synagogue or home (for now…) but don't you dare try to live them out in the public square," LaBarbera said.

eHarmony even announced not long ago that because of its "enormous success" matching compatible singles, it was beginning a service to help couples achieve "stronger, healthier and happier marriages."

eHarmony Marriage is a "marriage wellness" program to deepen understanding, appreciation and connectedness, the company said.

The categories for compatibility include emotional temperament, social style, cognitive mode, physicality, relationship skills, values and beliefs and key experiences, along with many sub-categories.

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