Sunday marked the 33rd anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision legalizing abortion (for those of you gifting, it's whatever is between pearl and coral), and events to celebrate are taking place all across America.

Watching the jubilees in honor of the Supreme Court ruling, which has turned out to be a "Fourth of July" for feminists – not to mention a would-be deadbeat dad's dream come true – one can't help but be relatively appalled at the celebratory nature considering the subject matter.

The composition of some of these Roe v. Wade anniversary soirees is like an angry tailgate party preceding a game where the losers are predetermined and killed before they get a chance to take the field, and is more than a little disturbing.

Participants in the party for the 33rd anniversary, despite differing races, creeds and nationalities, have one thing in common: Their parents didn't abort them. It's that kind of touching common bond that makes the pro-abortion movement such a close-knit kinship. For a political activist group trying to increase in size and strength, perhaps there's a lesson in there. Just think how many more pro-abortionists there would be at these rallies if more people were like their parents and didn't have abortions.

Coinciding with the anniversary, Planned Parenthood has, appropriately enough, aborted their interim president and hired a new leader with a vision for the suture.

Cecile Richards, activist, former deputy chief of staff for House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, and daughter of former Texas governor and rawhide catchers mitt with lipstick, Ann Richards, has been named the new president of Planned Parenthood.

There are some big changes in store for organizations such as Planned Parenthood, which, thanks to a shifting of funds in the Texas budget, may soon become the General Motors of the abortion biz. Layoffs and clinic closings may be on the not-so-distant horizon.

One of Richards' first big chores, other than distributing "Precious Abortion Moments" figurines to commemorate her inauguration as well as celebrate the 33rd anniversary of Roe v. Wade, will be to figure out how to fight a budget shift in Texas that will send money away from Planned Parenthood, and to "federally qualified health centers."

Well into this week, people will gather to stress the importance of the 33rd anniversary of Roe v. Wade and how conservative judges could endanger this coveted one-sided freedom. The budget cuts in Texas and overall federal funding for this "health-care" procedure are also bound to be major topics for some time to come, but what it really boils down to is what almost everything else boils down to – how to get some of your cash.

Debate revolving around eliminating or reforming third-party funding of abortion causes apoplectic fits among the self-described "pro-choicer," but it has nothing to do with rights or a mother's health. It simply violates the first tenet of liberal philosophy: never, ever pay for anything yourself.

Taxpayer-subsidized systematic murder of babies is indeed a disgusting view of what constitutes freedom. But then again, when your philosophy has a window seat in a septic tank, any view is bound to be sickening.

The 33rd anniversary was also marked by the usual number of politicians who tap dance on that fine line of "rare, safe and legal." It's amazing that a politician of national prominence can get away with that, but somehow they seem to.

A member of Congress or an ex-president saying that abortion should be "rare, safe and legal" gets an approving nod from "pro-choicers," but if their county road commissioner said that the streets should be "accessible, smooth and scarcely driven upon," they would laugh him out of the city council meeting.

"Rare, safe and legal" is a good example of the screwball stump-speech mumbo-jumbo touted by the likes of Hillary Clinton, and it's almost impossible to combat. A leftist like Hillary knows that, in order even to try to oppose this already jumbled position, her opposition may attempt to take on a contrary position. In this case, her opponent would have to rebut "rare, safe and legal" with "common, unsafe and illegal." Everybody then says "huh?" Hillary wins.

The pro-life movement has made great strides, as the abortion rate continues to decline every year. Perhaps when and if Roe v. Wade reaches its 50th, the legality will be almost a moot point.

If this should be the case, the pro-abortion marches for Roe v. Wade's golden anniversary will turn out to be the first funeral procession in history where nobody died.