What if somebody in a leadership position in the United States proposed that Miranda rights should be read only in English? How quickly would that person be admitted to the Fifth Amendment trauma ward after the severe beating by civil-rights activists, courts and many others?

We've just passed another Cinco de Mayo, which is the Mexican holiday celebrating 1862's Battle of Puebla, where the Mexican militia defeated the French army. True, an entire holiday celebrating the time you defeated France is kind of like officially honoring the anniversary of the day you beat up on Emmanuelle Lewis, but this nonetheless makes it the perfect time of year to debate whether or not the national anthem should be sung in languages other than English.

President Bush said recently spoke out on the issue, and Ted Kennedy agreed that the anthem should be sung in English only. Or, if it's during happy hour, to at least give it your best shot.

On the other side of the debate, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee Howard Dean said that the anthem is acceptable if sung in any language. Recently on MSNBC, Dean said the following:

I'm a patriot. I'm proud to have our anthem sung in any language possible. I don't care if you translate it into German. As long as people are singing the national anthem in the United States of America and being patriotic, I think, we ought to be pleased with that.

Frankly, if Dr. Dean and his party as it exists today were in charge throughout this nation's history, we would not only be singing the national anthem in German, we'd be singing the German national anthem, so forgive me if I'm not automatically inclined to take Dean's word for it on this issue.

Meanwhile, as the debate over an English-only anthem goes on, illegals continue to pour across the border and there are huge demonstrations taking place consisting of people looking to keep the U.S. teat accessible to sucklings not from our particular barn. This is angering Joe Citizen of the United States, which is why some politicians and activists, instead of worrying about what Joe Citizen thinks, are simply seeking to allow illegals to vote so Joe Citizen can be neutralized like carpet odor on the floor of a massive political agenda.

A recent Gallup poll concluded that seven in 10 Americans support an English-only anthem, but such intense focus on the issue is yet another typical "cart-before-the-dead horse" creation of a political body unwilling to address the real problem.

For the English-only anthem supporters in Congress and other areas of politics, close examination of the First Amendment could find this proposal to be unconstitutional, so they may not try to delve too deeply into the legality of such for the same reason Paris Hilton may not care to know the results of her I.Q. test.

Ultimately it boils down to this: Even if the English-only anthem legislation succeeds, we'll still have highway signs in every language up to and including Klingon, ballots worded so as to provide equal opportunity for non-English speakers to accidentally vote for Buchanan, and DMV tests available in Spanish so all the money spent to multi-lingualize the road signs doesn't go to waste.

It's much easier for politicians to try and sway voters with empty proposals and legislation that will, in the end, do nothing to solve the ultimate problem. Outlawing the singing of the anthem in any language other than English – while doing nothing to secure the borders and deport those in the United States illegally – is like trying to put an end to kidnapping by making it a criminal offense for ransom notes to be in any font other than Times New Roman.

Conversely, for those who oppose an English-only anthem, they won't make too big a deal out of the English-only anthem push since the legislation doesn't do a single thing to solve the problem of illegals coming to the United States. If it's illegal to sing the anthem in Spanish, in areas where nobody can speak English, the anthem won't be sung at all. For the far left, problem solved.

To that end, look for Michael Newdow's next angle to be a call for legislation supporting an English-only Pledge of Allegiance.

If politicians really want to score points with an ever-increasing number of outraged legal citizens of the United States who, at least so far, are still able to vote, they'll start arresting illegals and reading them their Miranda rights – and yes, in Spanish if necessary.