A CNN/Time poll showed 61 percent of people asked believed divorce should be more difficult to obtain when minor children are involved. There seems to be plenty of chatter about saving the institution of marriage between one man and one woman. How about some effort to save present marriages and families.

Louisiana recently did just that by requiring a year's waiting period and separation if children are involved. Amazingly, this measure was lead by Sen. Bob Kostelka who is a retired judge. Kostelka stated, ''Divorces were often granted before the couple had worked out issues of child custody and support. That removed the option of reconciliation, because they would be divorced before they had settled important issues, that might have prompted the couple to reconcile.''

This prompted me to look into the states that have the lowest divorce rates and the states that have the highest divorce rates; if they had waiting periods and if so how long they are. What I discovered was shocking.

The eight states with the highest divorce rates:Nevada, Arkansas, Wyoming, Tennessee, Kentucky, Alabama, New Mexico, and Mississippi. They have an average of 5.2 divorces per 1,000 population and an average waiting period of 40 days.

The eight states with the lowest divorce rates:Maryland, Wisconsin, Iowa, North Dakota, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, and the District of Columbia, which have an average divorce rate of 2.6 divorces per 1,000 population and an average waiting period of 190.5 days.

That's a difference of 50% in divorce rates. I believe Louisiana may be on to something.

Then I ran across the following from the Center for Marriage and Families:

Unhappily married adults who divorced or separated were no happier, on average, than unhappily married adults who stayed married. Even unhappy spouses who had divorced and remarried were no happier, on average, than unhappy spouses who stayed married. This was true even after controlling for race, age, gender, and income.

Divorce did not reduce symptoms of depression for unhappily married adults, or raise their self-esteem, or increase their sense of mastery, on average, compared to unhappy spouses who stayed married. This was true even after controlling for race, age, gender, and income.

The vast majority of divorces (74 percent) happened to adults who had been happily married five years previously. In this group, divorce was associated with dramatic declines in happiness and psychological well-being compared to those who stayed married.

Unhappy marriages were less common than unhappy spouses. Three out of four unhappily married adults were married to someone who was happy with the marriage.

Staying married did not typically trap unhappy spouses in violent relationships. Eighty-six percent of unhappily married adults reported no violence in their relationship (including 77 percent of unhappy spouses who later divorced or separated). Ninety-three percent of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce reported no violence in their marriage five years later.

Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later. Just one out of five of unhappy spouses who divorced or separated had happily remarried in the same time period.

We already know social science has determined that children of divorce are at much higher risk of social ills such as being a runaway or homeless, dropping out of school, juvenile delinquency, teen pregnancy, substance abuse and teen suicide.

All children need and crave a loving, caring and intact family and parents should have every option available to save a trouble marriage for their children's sake.

A waiting period or "cooling off" period may very well lead to more reconciliation and less divorce.

The law should encourage marriage, not divorce.

Alan Rusmisel
Alabama Coalition for Fathers and Children