Coach Corbett grades the NFL

FALKLAND, BC — Come to order, class!

I’m Coach Corbett, your teacher for today from Falkland U (and you
thought it was Bristol U
with Boomer and the Boys).

So here are my biased grades for the 1998 NFL term with some extra
comments added:

1. Minnesota Vikings (15-1). Grade: A+. Coach Dennis Green has
   compiled a magnificent
   team, accumulating an NFL points record of 556. The Vikes had a 15-1
   mark, the third NFL team
   to reach that peak. Philadelphia retread QB Randall Cunningham, rookie
   WR Randy Marshall, wily
   veteran Chris Carter and the toe of the “perfect little field goal
   kicker” Gary Anderson. He
   finished the season with 164 points. Plus a stingy defense. LAST GAME:
   Minnesota 26, Tennessee
   16.

2. Atlanta Falcons (13-2). Grade: A+. Coach Dan Reeves has
   inspired the “Dirty Birds” to
   fly high in the Georgia Dome on the arm of Chris Chandler and the
   running of Jamal Anderson. Of
   course, receivers such as tight end O.J. Santiago are an asset and those
   pesky defensive backs
   rule. Heart and soul is Reeves, who suffered a heart attack in the
   latter part of the season
   and has even been a force from his hospital bed. LAST GAME: Thump.
   Atlanta 38, Miami 16.

3. New York Jets (12-4). Grade: A+. Coach Bill (Tuna) Parcells
   is a genius and he should
   be considered for the NFL coaching honors. He put faith in QB Vinny
   Testaverde and it paid off
   Other standouts: Curtis Martin, Keyshawn Johnson and bringing back Dave
   Meggett from the legal
   garbage heap. LAST GAME: NY Jets 31, New England 10.

4. Denver Broncos (14-2). Grade: A. Coach Mike Shanahan has the
   Broncos running on all
   cylinders now and QB John Elway has made a comeback from two unsettling
   losses. Earlier in the
   season, Bubby Brister filled in admiringly. What’s more, Terrell Davis
   also became only the
   fourth RB to top the 2,000-yard mark in a season, joining the
   illustrious Barry Sanders, Eric
   Dickerson and O.J. Simpson in that club. Then there’s motor mouth
   receiver Shannon Sharpe. LAST
   GAME: Denver 28, Seattle 21.

5. San Francisco 49ers (12-4). Grade: A. Coach Steve Mariucci
   still has a team that could
   just go all the way to the Super Bowl, particularly on the stellar arm
   of QB Steve Young. Oh,
   did I forget to mention Jerry Rice and Terrell Owens. Wade Richey has
   the foot to be a
   last-minute field goal hero. Garrison Hearst gives Mariucci a bashing
   running game. LAST GAME:
   Frisco 38, St. Louis 19.

6. Buffalo Bills (10-6). Grade: A. Coach Wade Phillips has two
   weapons of mass destruction
   with the magical Doug Flutie and high-priced QB Rob Johnson. The offence
   has other weapons
   including Eric Moulds, Antowain Smith, Andre Reed, Quinn Early and Sam
   Gash. Bruce Smith and
   Ted Washington plus a savage group of linebackers make life miserable
   for the opposition. LAST
   GAME: Buffalo 45, New Orleans 33.

7. Green Bay Packers (11-5). Grade: A -. Coach Mike Holmgren has
   a cast of durable
   offensive stars in QB Brett Favre, running back Dorsey Levens and
   catcher Antonio Freeman. The
   Pack will definitely miss the NFL’s sack leader, Rev. Reggie White, who
   has already announced
   his retirement. LAST GAME: Green Bay 16, Chicago 13.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars (10-5). Grade: A -. Coach Tom Coughlin
   has a banged up AFC Central
   division championship team going into the playoffs, particularly since
   two-time Pro Bowler, QB
   Mark Brunell is hobbled by an ankle injury. His backups, Jamie Martin
   and Jonathan Quinn aren’t
   too formidable. However, Coughlin still has the redwood on the line,
   Tony Boselli, who’s as
   nimble as a cat. LAST GAME: Minnesota 50, Jacksonville 10. NEXT GAME:
   Pittsburgh at
   Jacksonville tonight in the league’s season finale.

9. Miami Dolphins. Grade: B+. Coach Jimmy Johnson plus QB Dan Marino.
10. New England Patriots. Grade: B+.
11. Dallas Cowboys. Grade: B+.
12. Tampa Bay Bucs. Grade: B. Out of the playoffs.
13. Arizona Cardinals. Grade: Grade: B. In.
14. Tennessee Oilers (Titans). Grade: B.
15. New York Giants. Grade: B.
16. Pittsburgh Steelers. Grade: B-. Time to change their attitude.

17. Seattle Seahawks. Grade: B-. Dennis Erickson appears gone as
    Hawks’ coach.

18. Oakland Raiders. Grade: B-. Coach Jon Gruden’s job is safe.
19. San Diego Chargers. Grade: B-. Who will succeed June Jones?
20. Kansas City Chiefs. Grade: B-.
21. St. Louis Rams. Grade: C+.
22. Detroit Lions. Grade: C+.
23. Baltimore Ravens. Grade: C-. Ted Marchibroda’s outta here!
24. Indianapolis Colts. Grade: C-.
25. Washington Redskins. Grade: D-. Norv Turner’s days are numbered.
26. Chicago Bears. Grade: D-. So are Dave Wannestedt’s.
27. Cincinnati Bengals. Grade: F. What’s his name again?

28. Philadelphia Eagles. Grade: F-. Hello, Jim Haslett from the
    Steelers. Goodbye, Ray
    Rhodes.

TOP COACH: Dan Reeves, Atlanta. Honorable Mentions: Bill Parcells, NY
Jets; Wade Phillips,
Buffalo.

WORST COACH: Ray Rhodes, Philadelphia. Dishonorable Mentions:
Whoever coaches Cincinnati; Dave Wannestedt, Chicago.

MOST VALUABLE PLAYER: Tie – Randall Cunningham, Minnesota and Randy
Moss, Minnesota. Honorable Mentions: Doug Flutie, Buffalo; Vinny
Testaverde, NY Jets; Terrell Davis, Denver.

LEAST MVP: Kordell Stewart, Pittsburgh. Dishonorable Mentions: Jim
Harbaugh, Baltimore; Randy
Leaf, San Diego.

TOP DEFENSIVE PLAYER: Reggie White, Green Bay.

P.S. Cincy’s coach: Bruce Coslet.

Wild-Card & Divisional Playoff Schedule (Courtesy of nfl.com)

NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue announced the schedule of sites,
dates and times for the
National Football League Wild-Card games of January 2-3 and Divisional
Playoffs of January 9-10
(all times ET):

NFL WILD-CARD WEEKEND

SATURDAY, JANUARY 2

AFC: 12:30 PM (ET)Buffalo (10-6) at Miami (10-6) (ABC) NFC: 4:05 PM
(ET)Arizona (9-7) at Dallas (9-6) (ABC)

SUNDAY, JANUARY 3

AFC: 12:35 PM (ET) New England (9-7) at Jacksonville (10-5) (CBS)
NFC: 4:15 PM (ET)Green Bay
(11-5) at San Francisco (12-4) (FOX)

NFL DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS

SATURDAY, JANUARY 9

NFC: 12:35 PM (ET) Dallas (9-6), Green Bay (11-5) or San Francisco
(12-4) at Atlanta (14-2)
(FOX) AFC: 4:05 PM (ET) Buffalo (10-6), Miami (10-6) or New England
(9-7) at Denver (14-2)
(CBS)

SUNDAY, JANUARY 10

AFC: 12:35 PM (ET) Buffalo (10-6), Jacksonville (10-5) or Miami
(10-6) at N.Y. Jets (12-4)
(CBS)NFC: 4:15 PM (ET)Arizona (9-7), Green Bay (11-5) or San Francisco
(11-4) at Minnesota
(15-1) (FOX)

In the Divisional Playoffs, the division champion with the best
record in each conference is
host to the surviving Wild Card team with the lowest playoff ranking.
The division champion
with the second-best record in each conference is host to either the
division champion with the
third-best record or the surviving Wild Card team with the highest
playoff ranking. There are
no restrictions on intradivision games.

Once teams are ranked for the playoffs, positions do not change:

NFL PLAYOFF RANKINGS

AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE: 1. Denver (West champion). 2. NY Jets
(East champion). 3.
Jacksonville (Central champion). 4. Miami (Wild Card). 5. Buffalo (Wild
Card). 6. New England
(Wild Card).

NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE: 1. Minnesota (Central champion). 2.
Atlanta (West champion). 3.
Dallas (East champion). 4. San Francisco (Wild Card). 5. Green Bay (Wild
Card). 6. Arizona
(Wild Card).