Dumb and dumber and the NFL

NFC PLAYOFFS

• Minnesota Vikings 41, Arizona Cardinals 21
  
• Atlanta Falcons 20, San Francisco Forty-Niners 18
  

JETS 34, JAGUARS 24 — Tom Coughlin looked like he’d just choked on Tuna.
Meanwhile, his Jags reflected on their reenactment of Jim Carrey and Jeff
Daniels in the “Dumber and Dumber” flick.
As the 78,817 Meadowlands fanatics cheered long in the night, Coughlin was
just warming up for one of his frequent tirades. Earlier in the week he
fined a couple of players for getting into a car accident. Now, that’s
tough, man.

While Jets’ QB Vinny Testaverde had 284 yards, his counterpart, Mark
Brunell, still on the limp from an ankle injury fumbled and bumbled his way
with three interceptions.
However, that was just the beginning of the fall. Take for instance:

1. Brunell underthrew a wide-open Keenan McCardell on third and 1.
   (Dumb);

2. Damon Jones drops an easy catch deep in Jets’ domain. (Dumb);
3. Donovan Darius lost his mind for a few seconds and instead of
   taking a touchback on an interception in the end zone, he decided to run it
   out. (Dumber); and

4. Jags’ safety Chris Hudson recovered a Curtis Martin fumble and then
   tried to lateral it in the second quarter.

Of course, Coughlin with his mentor Bill (Tuna) Parcells looking on also
was part of a “dumb” play. It was third and 1 and Fred Taylor should have
been handed the ball, but coach Tom called a play-action pass. Brunell
tossed a lame duck to McCardell. Jets’ safety Corwin Brown snapped it up.
Keyshawn Johnson and Curtis Martin had two TDs each and a stellar defense
picked off three Brunell’s passes. Johnson snared nine passes for 121 yards
— he even intercepted a desperation pass at the end of the game. Martin
had 124 yards on 36 carries. On top of that Martin also had 58 yards on six
catches.

“It’s not a matter of wanting money or fame,” explained Testaverde in the
soaking-wet dressing room. “I want a chance to play for a Super Bowl ring
to make my career complete. We’re playing to win the championship, not play in the AFC Championship Game.” The Jets invade Mile High Stadium Sunday against the Denver Broncos for the AFC championship belt.

TERRELL DAVIS 38, DOLPHINS 3 — Miami coach Jimmy Johnson and his Fish were squished. However, he showed enough class to congratulate the NFL’s MVP Terrell Davis for his 199 yards and 21 carries. “Denver played like they’ll repeat as Super Bowl champs,” he said. The Broncos (15-2) next host the New York Jets Sunday in the AFC title showdown. Motivation and focus and not John Elway were the key ingredients and Davis pulled up one yard short of a 200-game because of a leg cramp in the final quarter Of course, coach Johnson could have made excuses for missing two defensive standouts Tim Bowens and Jason Taylor, but he didn’t. On the other side off the field, Denver was also missing TE Troy Drayton and LT Richmond
Webb.

VIKINGS 41, CARDINALS 21 — It just wasn’t in the Cards. All season long, Arizona had been living on borrowed time, but Sunday in the rowdy Metrodome they came crashing to earth against a mighty team.
The Vikes, with a multitude of magnificent players are odds-on Super Bowl
favorites on Jan. 31 in Miami. In capturing their first NFC championship
game in 11 years, Minny (16-1) now takes on the Dirty Birds from Atlanta
Sunday in an NFC flag-bearing ceremony…

In spreading their talent around, Robert Smith had a playoff record of 124
yards while Leroy Hoard had three TDs. Ageless QB Randall Cunningham tossed three TD passes, a spectacular one to Randy Moss. Chris Carter, the man credited with Moss being a superstar in
his first year, also gathered in a 45-yard catch.

FALCONS 20, FORTY-NINERS 18 — Atlanta coach Dan Reeves, still recovering
from heart surgery, must have had a few palpitations as the Dirty Birds
denied QB Steve Young a second straight miracle finish.
Their offense dominated for much of the first half, and when momentum
shifted in the second half, their defense came to the rescue with two
critical interceptions against Young.

The Falcons had massive games from Jamal Anderson with 113 yards in 29
carries while QB Chris Chandler connected on 13 of 16 for 169 yards.
San Francisco had a chance with 38 seconds, however, Young had to start on
his own 4. On a final Hail Mary toss, he threw it into the arms of Falcons’
William White at Atlanta’s 35-yard line and the Dirty Birds began preparing
for their toughest opponent, the Minnesota Vikings, on Sunday.

SNEAKERS, ANYONE? — How much have you missed seeing the NBA likes of
Dennis Rodman, etc. on the court and not inside one? Not much, you say? Me, neither. With the millionaires hitting the backboards next month, the terms are beyond my means and anyone else I know. The six-year deal, according to ESPN, between the players and the owners goes something like this: The union accepts 55 per cent of revenues in the fourth, fifth and sixth years of the agreement; in the first three years, there’s no limit on the
percentage of revenues players can receive; the union agreed to a $14
million max salary for players with 10 years’ experience; and the union
agreed to a three-year rookie scale. It’s called G-R-E-E-D, friends. The
next question is: Where’s Michael Jordan in this picture?