Pleeease, Mr. President!

By Jane Chastain

The idea of Senate Republicans sending a letter to Bill Clinton
asking him to interrupt his fundraising to come in and voluntarily
testify in his impeachment trial would be laughable if it weren’t so
pathetic. The thought of 28 senators obsequiously signing this document
is ludicrous.

The names at the bottom of the letter include Senate Majority Leader
Trent Lott, the guy who manned the biggest broom when it came time to
sweep the sins of the president under the rug of the prestigious upper
chamber. Yes, Trent Lott, the man who was supposed to lead, who first
worked with Democrats to scuttle a vote on the articles of impeachment,
then voluntarily gave away his power by allowing Tom Daschle to veto any
witnesses, now has put himself in the position of begging the president
to show up at his ill-planned party.

“Pleeease, Mr. President, grace us with your presence! Pleeease, Mr.
President, come in and lie to us again so we can help you cover it up!
Pleeease, Mr. President, let us hear you say you’re sorry just one more
time. Pleeease, Mr. President, let us help you rewrite the dictionary.
We never liked the word ‘alone’ anyway and ‘is’ is such a little word.
It’s not important.”

This pitiful document reads, “Your knowledge, intent, actions and
omissions are central to the charges the House of Representatives have
made against you. … Personal answers from you should prove beneficial in
our efforts to reconcile conflicting testimony.” It’s sucker bait.

Not surprisingly, this letter was unceremoniously rejected, but you
can bet it wasn’t filed in the trash. No, Bill Clinton will want to drag
it out now and then when he wants a good hoot. He may have it framed to
pass on to his grandchildren. “Yes, my dears, if you are bold enough and
clever enough, you can lie and spin your way out of anything.” What a
legacy!

You can’t blame Clinton for “dissing” Mr. Lott and the other
senators. While most are wimps, it’s the House managers who would be
asking him questions. That could prove enormously embarrassing, not only
for himself, but for all those Democrats who are willing to whitewash
his many sins, disregard their oaths and trash the Constitution.

Now all Clinton has to do is sit back and watch the rest of the show.
Naa, why bother? Too boring.

Jane Chastain

Jane Chastain is a Colorado-based writer and former broadcaster. Read more of Jane Chastain's articles here.