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The other guys around the counter laughed, as if at a bitter joke.Then their grins -- and their talk -- chopped off as they turned to seewho'd come in. "She's OK," said the glance they exchanged. I went tolook at holsters and they went on as if they'd never been interrupted.
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"Didja hear about this new executive order? That murdering dictatorin the White House ..." one groused as I disappeared around a displayrack. And it occurred to me -- not for the first time -- thatthis is why politicians and bureaucrats are so desperate to crushgun dealers and gun shows out of existence.
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It's got less to do with "killer guns" than with talk.
Maybe they don't do it in the locked room at
Like 'em or hate 'em, these once-peaceful gun owners of the '90s arefeeling a lot like Jews of 1939 Germany. Maligned, lied about,persecuted and threatened. Afraid, confused and angry. Very.
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Of course, talk is proverbially cheap. A substitute for action, asoften as not. Still ... if a revolution or a Bill of Rights undergroundis going to develop, it's going to happen here, in grubby littlegun shops like Grouchy's.
It is happening. ...
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"I was talking with Colonel Beaudoin, over at the Armory,"stage-whispered one of the talkers. "He said if they ever get the orderto confiscate guns, he'd warn some of us. That way we could turn overold junk and hide the good stuff for a 'rainy day.'"
"S---," snarled another. "If the government ever comes collectingguns, that's about as rainy a damn day as we're gonna get. What is this'rainy day' BS, anyway? Do you suppose the farmers at
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"Look, if they come for the guns, we fight. Even if we can't doanything but die. That's the day. We either give up or stand up -- rightthen. But the truth is, I don't think they're gonna come for the guns.Not just like that."
"Yeah. They'll just regulate everything away until there's nothingleft. They're already doing that, one whack at a time."
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"Nothing left that's legal. But there will still be hundredsof millions of guns. They're not going to go away just because
"Cali. Medellin."
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"The South Bronx."
"Al Capone's Chicago."
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"Half a million more people in prison, at least."
"Won't old Rosie like that, now?"
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"But speaking of Al Capone's Chicago, if they want to make criminalsof us, some people are going to be good ones."
"Good ones?"
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"Yeah. For starters, most gun owners will
"They'll just crack down on anything we try, eventually."
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"We outnumber them, though. Even if they put a half a million of usin prison, that still leaves millions of us out here."
"Yeah, but doing what?"
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"Well, if they make guns illegal or impossible to get, some peopleare going to build their own. And the thing is, when you can go toprison for owning a .22 single-shot target pistol, why not own somethingbigger and meaner, instead? Did you know you can
"Friend of mine, a gunsmith, just got a new lathe. He says he can doanything now, including that."
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"And if you don't have those tools, you can still
"Geez, that's crazy!"
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"Look, I'm not saying anybody should do it. I'm just sayingthat people will do it once they can't get legal stuff. It's afact."
"Some of those guns will be blowing up in idiots' faces!"
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"Yeah, just like some people went blind from drinking wood alcoholonce the government stopped 'em from getting the legal booze. Just likethey die of drug overdoses because there's no quality control. What elseis new?"
"But why would anybody want to build a machine gun? They aren't thateffective, compared to
that for ourselves, too."
"Like I said, if you're gonna hang for being a litterer, you might aswell hang for being an international jewel thief. At least you get someexcitement before they stick your head in the noose. Besides, it's notjust machine guns. People will go for bigger caliber stuff. Exoticstuff. More destructive stuff. Just like they went for harder booze andstronger drugs once they were illegal. Just like they went back to bigold .45 ACP once the Feinstein magazine ban made 9-mill less useful.
"It's not a recommendation. It's just history. Reality.
"And another thing. Don't you suppose those guys who're getting theircocaine shipments around the world will be happy to add another line ofmerchandise to the inventory? Stick some pistols in with the whitepowder. Even the government admits 90 percent gets through -- so you canbet even more than that does."
"Oh, man. We're gonna have cartel wars between Glock and Colt!"
"Something like that. Between whoever replaces them on the blackmarket, anyway. But whatever happens, guns aren't going to go away.They're just going to get more dangerous, every which way -- for thepeople who own 'em, the people who shoot 'em, and the people gettingshot at."
"Then what's Rosie gonna be screaming for, I wonder?"
"Longer sentences. Death penalty for 'gun traffickers.' Then deathpenalty for 'possession.' House-to-house sweeps.
For a moment, there was a silence. Then someone said, flatly, "We'restill going to have to fight. In the end."
"Probably."
"Lay in a stock of militarymanuals, guys. And start readin.'"
"Yeah, ain't it interesting that the biggest supplier of subversiveliterature in the world isn't really
"Their
"Man, I don't want to get into any of this stuff! I just want to beleft alone."
"You might not have that choice, someday. The gun-banners are settingup
"I'll play criminal games as long as I have to. But someday, it'sgonna be Lexington time all over again. And there's a few million of usout here who not only feel that way but have the experience -- Thankyou, Vietnam; Thank you, Korea, World War II, Desert Storm and all BillClinton's little wars -- to know how to do it. And when you're talkingguerrilla tactics, you don't need big numbers on your side."
"When, though? How do we know?"
"If they come for the guns, for sure. When they burn the next churchfull of babies. Maybe. If they declare martial law. Maybe. I don't know.Maybe there won't be any one time, but a whole lot of littleincidents over the years, leading up to something big. I just know we'dbetter be ready. Maybe it's even good that we don't know exactly when.Because that means they never know how far they can push us beforewe push back -- hard."
At that point I came around the counter and the guys changed thesubject. It's not that they suddenly realized I was overhearing. Theyknew all along there was a writer lurking.
No, they'd just said all they had to say. For the moment.
"Hey, Claire," one said, "you really stirred up a fuss with lastweek's Rosie O'D column."
"Well, freedom lovers did. It seems we swamped Rosie's Web serversthat morning and sent so many protests to Kmart that they took two oftheir e-mail addresses out of service. Most of the credit goes to
"You said you were going to write about armed confrontation thisweek. I tell you, that Joseph Farah's a good guy, but he's nevergonna let you write about that."
"Oh, he might," I said. "If I handle it carefully."
"Well, in that case," said one of the guys who, like the rest, shallremain nameless, "You just tell that Rosie O'Donnell something for us.We don't want trouble and we aren't gonna start any. Leave us alone andwe'll leave you alone. But you can tell Rosie and all her fans --including Chuck Schumer and Orrin Hatch and Larry Craig and DianneFeinstein -- that when they send their goons after our guns, Hardyvillewill be waiting for them."