Rather than just grouse about a pet peeve, we’ve decided to describe it as a pathological syndrome: acronymophilia (ANPA) – love of acronyms – among editors of medical articles. Unfortunately this viral affliction has mutated and spread nationally to involve government agencies and managed care insurance terminology!
We find ourselves to be acronymophobic (ANPC). Just think of arachnophilia (love of spiders) and arachnophobia (fear of spiders) and you’ll understand how we feel about acronyms. Our ANPC condition nearly became malignant recently while we were trying to read an early May issue of a “prestigious” medical journal.
Even a cursory glance found overwhelming multiplication of acronyms (OMA). Some of these acronyms have multiple meanings in medicine and general American use, such as BS, CHF, BA, SLAP, SST, and MS – especially BS.
Although ANPA is endemic at MGH (Massachusetts General Hospital) – where we trained, the FDA (Food and Drug administration), USC (both U.S. Congress and University of Southern California), and elsewhere, the causes and complications of this intellectual disease make it overripe for reevaluation (ORRE).
As in other pathologic conditions, ANPA has secondary gains. The few benefits of acronym overuse (AOU) include:
- Use of less printer’s ink (PI) or computer memory storage (CMS),
- More rapid communication between the elite cognoscenti (MRCBEC), and
- Confusion and compliance among the non-cognoscenti (CCANC).
Risks, complications and costs include:
- Frustration among readers who find themselves having to either construct or refer to a glossary to understand an article, such as by highlighting the first use (FU) of an acronym technique (FUAT) that follows the fully spelled out use of the term (our technique)
- Even more frustration at having to flip back and forth from the body of the article to the front where the FU occurred
- Confusion among the cognoscenti and their followers (the Tower of Babel Syndrome 102 [BS102])
- Revolt by the followers, not to mention the rabble
- Confusion and noncompliance among the non-cognoscenti
- More confusion when we try to skip ahead from the abstract of the article directly to the discussion. We feel ambushed.
The list is incomplete, but we are sure you get the idea.
ANPA has clearly reached epidemic proportions. Even rabbit and fruit fly multiplication is no match for the creative multiplication of acronyms in the hands of medical ANPAs.
With computer-based word processors universally used by writers – and required by almost all editors – we suggest revising standards for acronym usage in published articles, for naming government agencies and for identifying HMO practices.
Because computers are much better at transforming acronyms into complete phrases and names than our weak minds, perhaps editorial staffs could use their editing programs to replace acronyms. But we warn them to be careful: Run the replacement program too many times and you end up with “Massachusetts General Hospital (Massachusetts General Hospital (Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH))),” like the repeating visual echoes in the carnival fun house hall of mirrors.
Alternatively, editors could simply print the acronym next to the technical term each time, such as compound hyperfritters (CHF), for the acronym addicts (AA).
Nonetheless, opportunities would still exist for the ANPAs. For example, an acronym-counting contest might increase interest in most otherwise boring medical articles, government reports and HMO propaganda.
If we don’t decide to do away with acronyms (DAWA) or that to DAWA is not ORRE, we suggest publishing an acronym-per-page index (APPI) at the start of each medical article or report. The APPI would be a helpful guide for selecting what to read and/or when to read it (e.g., after an adequate dose of psychoactive medication such as Prozac or the equivalent in stiff drinks).
In the meantime, maybe we should try turning confusion into a new parlor or board game. Instead of Trivial Pursuit, we might just call the game “TP” and have questions such as:
- Does HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996) really mean “a female hippo”?
- Is S-CHIP (State Children’s Health Insurance Program) really just a “small buffalo chip”? Or does it just smell like one?
- Is an IPO (Independent Practice Organization) an “Immense Protective Organization” or a PPO (Preferred Provider Organization) a “Paid Protective Organization”?
We reluctantly note that some reality based TV game shows are already getting into the ANPA game.
Usually reliable insiders tell that they’re talking about changing the name of the Health Care Financing administration (HCFA) to Medicare and Medicaid administration (MAMA). This MAMA we would indeed throw from the train! Please, please, say it ain’t so!
Alas, after this BS we realized now how hard all this must be on patients who are treated under managed care (MC). “MC” really refers to “managed costs.” To the government and CEOs of HMOs “care” has little to do with it. Speaking of HMOs the acronym HMO really means “Hold the Money” organizations, or “Hey Mo – make mo money”!
And speaking of CEOs this stands for “Carrying Everything-green Offsite,” or alternately “Creative Economics Over-ride” good medical care.
G. K. Chesterton, the English journalist and author, had a great idea for writers. Write with one syllable words. Try it when you write; it might do great things for your style. These lines tend to be more clear and have more bite than when a lot of big words are used.
These last two sentences compare well with a style compounded of abstruse polysyllabic tergiversations and remonstrations, don’t you think? Don’t you feel as if you had just run into verbal speed bumps?
After this acrimonious assault against acronyms we feel wondrously over worked (WOW).
