Dead dope
While looking for new ways to get high, some marijuana smokers have decided to get low, six feet under to go metaphorical on you. Taking the expression "stiff joints" in a whole new direction, some pot users dip their marijuana cigarettes in embalming fluid to increase the potency and length of the high.
A mixture of alcohol, moisturizers and anti-clotting agents, among other things, embalming fluid's most important ingredient is formalin, formaldehyde diluted in water. A blunt treated with the fluid is commonly dubbed an "illy," "wet" or "fry."
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San Francisco College Mortuary Science President Jacquie Taylor told me she's heard about the practice before but never really followed up on it. After all, she said, smoking anything with formaldehyde is "an incredibly stupid thing." Formaldehyde is really dangerous stuff. "It burns your eyes, burns your nose." And as for smoking it, "I can't imagine this is a positive thing."
Depends upon whether your last name is Kevorkian, I think.
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According to a 1998 paper by Dr. William N. Elwood for the University of Texas School of Public Health, smoking illy can result in "bronchitis, body tissue destruction, brain damage, lung damage, impaired coordination, and inflammation and sores in the throat, nose, and esophagus." And don't forget "high fever, heart attacks … kidney damage … coma, convulsions, coughing, pneumonia, anorexia, and death."
Always looking on the bright side, a benefit of smoking fry is that if you get enough formaldehyde in your system, you might save the mortician some work. You'll be nicely preserved when you arrive.
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So-so minds think disalike
The Aug. 16 issue of Rolling Stone has a great symposium on the drug war, with voices from all sides and angles, however poignant, smart, stupid or irrelevant. Some keepers:
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Way the wind blows
Something's rotten in Denmark, er, England. While not strictly new, this news is "breaking." A handful of police are under investigation by Scotland Yard for "allegations of assault and uncivility," according to the June 6 Sky News. "The detectives will all be investigated … after a complaint was lodged that one of them broke wind in front of a family while carrying out a drug raid in Chingford, Essex."
Sky slugged the story, "You have the right to remain silent … and deadly."
Downplaying the matter, Chairman of the Metropolitan Police Federation Glen Smyth charged that the "allegations … border[ed] on the ridiculous. …" But I guess that depends on whether you were standing downwind and what the officer had for lunch, no?
Mild wilds
When people think of drugs, they typically think of powerful narcotics or other illegal substances like cocaine and marijuana. Rarely do they think about that cup of Starbucks or pint of Guinness they just downed. But with the probable exception of tobacco, caffeine and alcohol are the world's most widely used drugs.
The average cup of coffee contains about 100 milligrams of caffeine. The world per-capita java jones, according to David T. Courtwright's "Forces of Habit," results in daily consumption of 70 milligrams. In places like Britain and Sweden, it's "well over 400 milligrams a day." For me, it's about 500 to 600 milligrams – before lunch.
Moving from hot to cold (or room temp, depending on tastes and styles), at little beer trivia: Who drinks the most beer in the world? Forget U.S. fraternities; we're talking nationwide per-capita consumption. According to the Associated Press, Germans come in third, Czechs in second and – Erin go beer! – the Irish take the gold.
To give you a taste of the quantities were talking about, in 2000 Germany's per-gullet beer gulping topped off at about 33 gallons, or 528 pints. In 1970 it was greater still, 37 gallons. That's nearly 600 times you'd have to ask the pubkeep to pass another pint. How many trips to the head that amounts to was a figure left unfactored.
Related offer:
"God Gave Wine," a book by Kenneth Gentry and published by Joel Miller's Oakdown Books, details what the Bible really says about alcohol. Get it at GodGaveWine.com.
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