You’ve just got to give them credit, folks … our government representatives excel at pandering to the populace better than anyone else on the planet. The latest manifestation of bureaucratic cranial-rectal inversion is the elimination product of a privately-funded commission, headed by former U.S. Presidents Ford and Carter, which proposed a number of election “reforms” that President Bush eagerly endorsed last week.
In particular, I refer to a proposal to turn national election days into federal holidays. The “logic” of this notion, of course, is that people will be more able and willing to vote.
Oh really?
Well, let’s see. Elections are held on Tuesday, so many people will want to take four-day holidays. Naturally, our already-apathetic electorate will want to cut their new-found holiday short and come racing home to vote, right?
Hmmm. Perhaps not.
However, not to worry. I have the solution: Let’s also give everyone pre-paid platinum VISA cards so they can charter helicopters and limos to get them to the polls on time and thus minimize the impact on their new government-sponsored vacation. Better yet, let’s just buy everyone helicopters and limos and provide them with fuel, pilots, drivers and maintenance mechanics.
And why stop at giving everyone only a day to contemplate their vote? Let’s give them the whole month of October and the first week of November off so they can properly make their voting decisions – this will be especially helpful for people who have trouble figuring out how to read their ballots. In fact, for everyone who is willing to sacrifice some of their precious personal time to actually vote, I think we should give them an all-expense-paid vacation to a world-class resort of their choosing. That way, we would be sure to have close to 100 percent participation in the voting process.
Of course, so their fragile ballot-punching arms don’t get too worn out ahead of time, we should also provide everyone with butlers to help them dress and nurses to feed them, brush their teeth, blow their noses and wipe their bottoms.
Forget about the fact that employers (and, eventually, consumers) will have to foot the bill for this single-day holiday proposal. Forget about the likelihood that unions everywhere will use their free day to drag every reluctant voter to the polls that they can dig up – legal or illegal, registered or multiple-registered, alive or dead. Forget about the fact that polls are already open very early to very late so that everyone who wants to can vote. Forget about the fact that poll workers and facilities will command premium holiday compensation and thus raise taxes even further.
Whatever happened to duty and honor? Whatever happened to love of country? Whatever happened to being a responsible citizen? Whatever happened to doing the right thing because it was the right thing to do rather than because somebody bribed you to do it?
The government trough is full of poisoned fruit for the pigs greedily eating from it. And the sheeple who continue to nosh on the handouts of government largesse will come to regret their unthinking feeding frenzy.
Why?
Because pigs and sheep get slaughtered. Just ask the farmers now suffering in Oregon’s Klamath Basin.
Democrat Carter’s hand in all of this doesn’t surprise me. Republican Ford’s hand surprises me a little. But Bush Jr. backing this lunacy reaffirms my decision to leave the Republican Party and join the Constitution Party. Will we ever wise up and get rid of these big-party clowns?
