Condit family or franchise?

August 30, 2001

WASHINGTON – OK, now I’m getting a little weirded out
by the whole Condit family.

First, the patriarch, Rev. Adrian B. Condit, who
apparently glosses over the Seventh Commandment whenever
he reads his Bible, gives a speech blindly defending
his son.

Then, his daughter, who’s just one year older than
Chandra Levy, fusses over the floral arrangement for
daddy’s big interview with Connie Chung (should have
picked tulips, Cadee).

Meanwhile, wife Carolyn – the woman scorned not once,
but three times (and that’s just the official count) –
poses with her faithless hubby for ABC. There she is,
walking arm-and-arm along a tree-lined path with Gary
and kids, as if nothing ever happened. Ah, still the
perfect family.

Then, son Chad goes on Larry King to affirm that “we”
didn’t do it, because “we” passed a lie-detector test.
“We” did this to help the Levys find their daughter,
and “we” did that. Uh-huh, and were “we” also there at
the apartment when the young intern would visit? Don’t
think so. Chad knows only what his father’s told him – or what he wants to believe happened.

What’s this “we” business, anyway? And why does he
call his mother and father by their first names when
he’s forced to refer to them individually?

Sounds more like a political franchise than a family.
Trademark: Condit Country.

I fear the Condits are warped by the same power, perks
and fame that corrupted their father. Pop’s spent
virtually all his professional life in politics, from
mayor to assemblyman to congressman. Mom has no career
to speak of, other than playing wife of a congressman
(albeit 3,000 miles away) and cashing the checks from
his $145,000-a-year salary. And the kids got jobs
through the political spoils system. Yes, they just
gave them up, but I think father Gary ordered them to
quit to get back at erstwhile pal, California Gov.
Gray Davis. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote their
blistering resignation letter for them. Do you really
think 34-year-old Chad, who has a wife and little boy,
would volunteer to give up a $110,000 job without
anything to fall back on? Cadee, meanwhile, was
pulling $52,000 in Sacramento – not bad for a
25-year-old.

Or, maybe they really did resign to show solidarity
for their dad. They stress that they’re a “very proud
and loyal family” in their resignation letter to
Davis.

But their views on loyalty are twisted. They question
the governor’s loyalty to their father, but not their
father’s loyalty to their mother. Go figure.

It seems like loyalty runs one way in the Condit
household – all to the congressman. Even mom remains
devoted. It’s one thing to be loyal to a family member
who’s annoying; it’s another to stand by one who’s
shown a pattern of being destructive and evil. Why
would Carolyn Condit and her children try to salvage
the career of someone who cheated and hurt them so?

That’s not loyalty. That’s feudalism.

I hate to say it, but it looks from here like
all the Condits view preserving Condit
Country(TM) as more important than helping the Levys
find their daughter.

So much for family values.