Britney, Beyonce & J’Lo help cure AIDS?

By Debbie Schlussel

Remember ’80s’ rock stars’ vapid, all-star recordings of “We Are the World” and “Do They Know It’s Christmas”?

Neither achieved its purpose, raising little money for the poor and hungry they were designed to help. But it made selfish, millionaire rock stars feel good about themselves for preaching charity to us, and it got them great publicity.

Now, the rock stars of the new millennium want to do it all over again. Like Michael Jackson, some things from the ’80s shouldn’t make a comeback. And this is one of them.

The latest effort, a remake of Marvin Gaye’s left-wing protest song, “What’s Going On,” has extra hypocrisy written all over it. It’s a pop-and-rockers’ attempt to educate America’s kids about AIDS, that it “is still a crushing problem.”

Rockers lecturing about AIDS? Huh? It’s like the Rosie O’Donnell Guide to Being Thin.

And three of the biggest participants in this endeavor organized by U2’s Bono – Britney Spears, Destiny’s Child, and Jennifer Lopez – are the last people on earth who should speak out on AIDS. They’re the most prominent sex-merchants in America.

Britney – the most exposed non-porn star in the U.S. – dresses like she might be going into the world’s oldest profession. Yet, she’s the most popular role model for young girls today. At last year’s MTV Video Music Awards, she did a striptease down to a flesh colored nothing with a few strategic sequins and rhinestones. At this year’s event, she wore almost as little, ensconced by an albino python snake. Some strippers in Vegas have the same act. The only thing missing was a pole. Singing her latest release, “I’m a Slave 4 U,” the kind of slave she is was made clear amidst her simulated orgasm. As former MTV VJ Kennedy said of Spears, “It’s kind of lame to dress slutty and then claim you’re a virgin.”

Britney’s slutty look and way-too-low rise, pelvis-bearing pants are all the fashion rage for little girls as young as 7 or 8, who display this “I’m easy” look at schools across America. But Spears hypocritically brushes off any responsibility. “It’s up to the parents to explain that to their children,” she told USA Today in August. “I really don’t like to be considered a role model.” But if she’s no role model, then why are millions of young girls buying her CDs and dressing like her, and why is she singing about AIDS on a song aimed at kids? Why is she taking millions from Pepsi, Clairol, Polaroid, McDonald’s, Got Milk?, Skechers, and other brands to push their products on young kids for whom she doesn’t want to be a role model? She should return their $5 million in annual endorsement income she earns. Britney can’t have it both ways.

Destiny’s Child is another paragon of AIDS hypocrisy. The group’s latest big hit, “Bootylicious,” has lyrics like “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.” If you have to ask what lead singer Beyonce Knowles means by “jelly,” you don’t know what “booty” is. With songs like “Sexy Daddy” and their ultra-minimalist dress-code, you have to laugh at their chastising a “Nasty Girl” to put some clothes on. Recently, Beyonce told AP her secret to keeping gravity-defying hip hugger pants from falling down: “extra-tight pants and plenty of tugging. You just have to make sure the pants fit well – that it’s sexy but right at the point where there’s not too much showing.” Usually wearing not much more than a glorified bikini, Beyonce was booed at the NBA Finals, this summer. She exposed too much, and hoop fans didn’t like what they saw. Yup, she’s the latest AIDS educator.

And J’Lo, as Lopez calls herself, is hardly the paragon of AIDS education. With hits like, “My Love Don’t Cost A Thing,” J’Lo’s wardrobe – which she’s manufacturing into a line of clothing so “now the whole world can dress like J’Lo” – doesn’t leave much to imagination. Neither does she. She described her whole week in bed with her boyfriend in the latest issue of men’s mag FHM.

It’s the rock star life of casual sex, drugs and self-destruction that most easily leads to AIDS. Read the headlines in Daily Variety. Robbin Crosby, guitarist for rock group RATT, is dying from AIDS. He blames heroin, in which he got heavily involved during RATT’s heyday in the ’80s. But it could’ve been his participation in the legendary RATT harem, too. Then there’s Styx bassist Chuck Panozzo. He has AIDS, too. His brother, Styx drummer John Panozzo, died of addiction in 1996.

Watch any episode of VH-1’s “Behind the Music.” A typical show goes like this: “It was the ’80s, and the money, girls, sex and drugs were flowing. Life was good for (insert band or artist name here). Groupies were waiting backstage, but trouble was around the corner. In the ’90s, the latest album didn’t sell, the money ran out and they degraded into a life of more drugs and despair. Mr. Lead Singer OD’d and Mr. Guitarist tested positive for HIV.”

These are exactly the people who should not be preaching to your kids about AIDS. Or anything else.

Debbie Schlussel

Debbie Schlussel is a political commentator and attorney. She is a frequent guest on ABC's "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" and Fox News Channel. Click here to participate in an online discussion group of Debbie's commentary, and here to join the unofficial Debbie Schlussel Fan Club. Read more of Debbie Schlussel's articles here.