‘Music Therapy’?

This boggles the mind: Suddenly, the omni-sapient, Big Brother-esque “They” are telling us what songs we can and can’t, or should and shouldn’t, listen to, for our own good, during these difficult times?

Like, maybe we can’t handle it?

You mean, for awhile maybe “They” won’t let us hear funky favorites like John Lennon’s “Imagine,” Kansas’ “Dust in the Wind,” James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain,” AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” and “TNT,” the Bangles’ “Walk Like an Egyptian,” “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin, “What a Wonderful World,” “Get Together,” Peter, Paul, and Mary’s “Blowing in the Wind” and “Leaving on a Jet Plane”? or even, shudder, apparently the most nefarious of all, “Peace Train”?

Really subversive, huh?

You mean, in their infinite wisdom, “They,” the genius owners of the largest chain of radio stations in the country – 1,200 AM and FM affiliates nationwide – actually dared to issue a Sensitive Song List to program directors, while denying it’s an outright ban?

Will “They” backpedal?

Supposedly, a Clear Channel Radio programming exec compiled such a warning list, according to a Reuters report, claiming it was “in response to stations seeking guidance on how they might alter normal airplay to avoid offending” – or upsetting – listeners.

Sure, and what planet are “They” living on? When doesn’t some music offend or upset someone somewhere?

Forget vitriolic rap for a minute! Think of all the folks who walked out when Stravinsky’s “Rite of Spring” was first played back in 1913!!

“They” insist the “advisory list” contains less than 150 songs, sent out with the wimpy caveat, “Remember, these are only suggestions.”

Yeah, right. What a patriotic stance, defending our ears, our minds and our hearts for us. Protecting us from … our emotions.

I asked my buddy Bob Kannry – who hosted a music show for nine years at a local N.C. radio station – for his reaction to the no-play warning list.

WND: Have you seen that list of songs for radio stations to avoid playing, and what do you think of it?

BK: Yes, I’ve seen it. And I don’t think much of it. A pretty stupid idea. Just tell the public they are not capable of dealing with things. And, as radio pros, “They” of course know what’s best.

WND: I hear some musicians are clamoring to have their songs included.

BK: I mean, what’s next? Banning “White Christmas” because it is too emotional? Books burn at 451 degrees. I wonder what a CD’s ultimate temperature is?

WND: Good question.

BK: So I guess this means the air-waves are free to only the emotionally strong, or the amoral. And, well, if we are talking about emotionally exacting songs not being played, then where does “America the Beautiful” fall, or “Battle Hymn of the Republic”? Bring back David Seville and the Chipmunks. Let’s just keep everything benign. Then we won’t have to worry about the challenge of feelings and thought.

WND: To me, it was also about control, censorship, and some paternalistic power that “knows better” making decisions for us – “in our best interests.”

BK: Or perhaps “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight” should become our new national anthem. This whole stupidity is really an insult. Once again proving that the media (in this case, radio) believe in patronizing their audience.

Meanwhile, the geniuses at Clear Channel insists their only decree was their stations temporarily switch formats from music to news-talk in the wake of September 11 terrorist attacks on the United States.

More blather.

Those dips! Don’t “They” know your favorite music can make you feel better?

If the folks at Clear Channel really wanted to do something substantial for America’s healing, they would have declared a permanent moratorium on further blather and, instead, “suggested” their stations play round-the-clock Mozart Marathons, until we citizens began getting our balance back as a nation.

In Don Campbell’s provocative book, “The Mozart Effect,” he “suggests” scientific studies have shown this form of music calms hyperactive adults and children, reduces depression and anxiety, lowers blood pressure and pulse rate, helps the body heal faster, and more.

Check it out.

But why stop here? Why not develop and export “The Mozart Effect” as a pacification weapon against Osama Bin Laden and his terroristic ilk? If you’re gonna have unmanned and unidentified U.S. surveillance planes flying over Afghanistan, at least have them blasting Mozart and dropping “butter bombs,” instead of lethal ones, before getting shot down.

Why not?