Evolving patriots?

As American planes flew over Afghanistan on Sunday, they went assured of the support of America's "new, nuanced patriotism." At least that's what the lead editorial in the Sunday Los Angeles Times proclaimed. And I am not, repeat not, making this up.

To read the complete side-splitter, click here. But the priceless paragraph among the seven in the parade of bad writing and elitist leftism is number five. It reads, in its entirety:

The evolved patriots are urban professionals, former peaceniks maybe, who salute the courage of the Delta Force warriors and have no illusions about how much mercy they will show al-Qaida. They're construction workers, radios suddenly tuned to NPR, who understand the geopolitical dangers of "unintended consequences" and can argue persuasively that, given the United States' sometimes unconscionable behavior in the Third World, diplomacy and humanitarian aid are at least as imperative as military force.

Urban professionals saluting Delta Force warriors? Construction workers suddenly tuning to NPR? America's "unconscionable behavior in the Third World"? Please, more details on all of these interesting subjects. None are forthcoming in the editorial, of course, because that would oblige these sad and foolish campus protesters grown old and irrelevant to even further reveal their utter bafflement at how wrong they have been.

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There is the obligatory swipe at talk radio, and the ritual condemnation of Jerry Falwell (though no word about Maureen Dowd, the apologetic Andy Rooney, the shunned Bill Maher, or the Times' own Howard Rosenberg – the television critic judged most wrong in the history of television, if the readers of his attack on President Bush are to be believed). But what this editorial is really all about is confession and absolution, the former veiled and the latter self-administered.

We need not kid ourselves about the politics of the editorial board at the worst major newspaper in America. It has been on display for decades and, until recently, was proudly on the way to the left side of the American political spectrum.

Public opinion shifted on Sept. 11 in lasting ways obvious to all. "Patriotism" re-emerged from cultural hibernation as a wounded and grieving nation recalled its roots and its founders' passions.

To avoid an unavoidable irrelevance, the posers of the Times and other nests of the left had to somehow proclaim that they hadn't been wrong all these years, and that they were no less patriots than the next guy – that construction worker, for instance. So the writers conjured up "an evolved centrist patriotism of startling sophistication and vitality."

I guess the old patriotism was not sophisticated or vital. Sufficient to project and protect freedom for more than two centuries, but not sophisticated.

This hilarious desperation to not be counted out of the American conversation while remaining true to deep-seated postures and poses required everything in this piece, which makes it a collector's item of sorts. The editors needed to find a way to denounce America's "unconscionable behavior in the Third World" and still connect with blue collars everywhere, so they invented construction workers glued to their NPR and uttering the editors' politics exactly!

It is disfiguring of the last, tiny shred of integrity on the left to write such trash. And the condescension is almost unbelievable. (Read about the rivetless Rosies heading off to Amazon.com to order books on Islam.) They must have labored a week on the line about saluting Delta Force – only Delta Force? – as a means of gesturing towards ordinary Americans who never thought that anything other than a salute for any branch or unit of the service was appropriate.

Read it, please, and see if you do not agree that the collapse of the left is now complete. The same sort of identity crisis must be sweeping editorial boards and faculty meetings everywhere. The Times is first on the scene with an admission against interest in the form of this wildly humorous invention, this new, "evolved" patriot. Others will follow.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt – this is the saying attributed to Swift. Someone needs to post it in the Times and send it to John Madigan, the CEO of the Tribune Company which owns the paper and thus this editorial. Perhaps you'd like to help. E-mail the Times at [email protected] Better yet, call him at (312) 222-9100 x-3123. Tell him you are an old-fashioned patriot, and you don't need evolution. Perhaps he ought to look into "evolving his paper."

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