Elusive Cheney jokes
about TV skit

By Paul Sperry

WASHINGTON – Vice President Dick Cheney last night made a rare cameo at a conservative black awards banquet before several Secret Service agents spirited him back to his “undisclosed location,” as a grinning Cheney made a point to call it.

“Saturday Night Live’s” opening skit over the weekend poked fun at the second in command’s recent vanishing act by revealing his “undisclosed location” in, of all places, Kandahar, Afghanistan – where, as impersonator Darrell Hammond told it, he’d joined the Northern Alliance equipped with a bionic pacemaker that allows him to run 70 mph and even dispense “my own Sanka.”

“It was my turn” to be roasted, Cheney joked at the Centre for New Black Leadership’s fourth annual awards banquet here at the J.W. Marriott on Pennsylvania Ave., the location of which was kept quiet. For months, “SNL” has been mocking George W. Bush as a bumbling, squinty-eyed pseudo-cowboy.

For security reasons, Cheney has been sequestered away from the White House at a secure hideaway to ensure his safety in the event something happened to the president in the war on terrorism, the White House says. His conspicuous absence has nonetheless spurred new questions from the press about the arterially challenged vice president’s health.

But a rosy-cheeked Cheney, paying tribute to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, spoke for about five minutes in a strong voice and showed no signs of ill health.

In fact, he seemed relaxed as always and in a surprisingly jocular mood, given the punishing stress of the war abroad and continuing terrorism at home.

“I’m just passing through,” Cheney said, “and then I’ve got to go back to my ‘undisclosed location.'”

Sure enough, just as soon as he finished speaking, Cheney ducked out through a curtain behind the stage and was escorted back to his hideaway by a phalanx of Secret Service agents. As he made his exit, Thomas, who shared the stage with him, told him to “go back to work.”

Cheney spokeswoman Juleanna Glover on Oct. 3 told WorldNetDaily that the vice president – whose experience as defense secretary during the Gulf war makes him a key voice in war-strategy sessions – has undergone no new medical treatments since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

Cheney spoke to about 150 guests packed in the small ballroom, including Thomas and his wife, Solicitor General Ted Olson, whose wife, Barbara, was killed in one of the hijackings, Rep. J.C. Watts, R-Okla., and former GOP presidential candidate Alan Keyes.

Security for his Elvis-like appearance was particularly tight. Guests, who were pre-screened by the Secret Service, had to pass through a metal detector at the door. And the location of the banquet was omitted from invitations.

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Paul Sperry

Paul Sperry, formerly WND's Washington bureau chief, is a Hoover Institution media fellow and author of "Infiltration: How Muslim Spies and Subversives have Penetrated Washington." Read more of Paul Sperry's articles here.