Who said the skies are friendly?

By Barbara Simpson

If you were a white-knuckle flier before Sept. 11, you have more than enough reason now. And terrorists may be the least of your fears. At least it’s a pretty good bet that terrorists won’t hit every single flight that gets off the ground.

But, there is no doubt that every single passenger on every single flight at every single airport will be subjected to the new definition of “security checks” imposed on us. How’s this for inanity?

Last week, after x-raying everything as I walked into the airport, security at JFK airport in New York – before I could even get in line for the ticket counter – forced me to unstrap, untape and unlock my suitcase, which I planned to check, to remove a small pair of sewing scissors in a small case, buried in the bottom. They rifled through all my clothes, found them and took them out to hold. I then had to stand in line for the ticket counter, check in and wait while they retrieved the scissors from security. Then I put the scissors back in the same suitcase, relocked, re-strapped and re-taped the case and checked it.

The whole point, I was told, was that no, repeat no, weapons of any kind are allowed in the airport! Too bad the terrific security guy only noticed one pair of scissors in the little case. There were two in there!

Remember the public outrage that terrorists got on those four planes on 9-11 to carry out the worst, domestic terrorist attack ever? Democrats and Republicans and everyone in between foamed at the mouth that something had to be done.

There were legitimate accusations about the failings of the current system, although everything complained about had been known for years.

Nothing was new – nothing, except for the horrific killing of nearly 4,000 people and the disintegration of two skyscrapers, massive destruction to the structural heart of the American military and the downing of another airliner before it completed its terrorist mission.

But something had to be done, and so it was. But what?

We were told airport security people were insufficiently trained. We were told too many, if not most, didn’t speak English, well or at all. Too many were poorly educated. Then we were told, when it was finally checked (why did it take so long?) that too many weren’t citizens and too many had rap sheets that included felonies.

These are the people who are supposed to be sure we are obeying the law? Yup!

Of course, it goes without saying that such folks tend to work for minimum wage or barely above and indeed, most of them don’t stay in those jobs very long. With a turnover rate at some airports of 100 percent a year, it’s hardly a surprise that so many are carelessly blas? about their job.

Of course the airlines, which are responsible for this security, keep an eye on the bottom line so the status quo was OK. Until 9-11. Oops!

So the politicians did what you’d expect – they passed a law with new regulations and guidelines aimed at solving the problems. Now, with the government in on the deal and the decision that those handling security for passengers will be “government employees,” the public is supposed to feel safer. Right.

Think having Department of Motor Vehicles, Post Office or IRS employees in charge of security and let me know how much safer you would feel. I scarcely trust the U.S. Postal Service to deliver my mail; you can bet I wouldn’t want them checking passengers for terrorists.

Scarcely before the rules were printed, they were changed. At first, all would have to have high school diplomas. Not now. A year of work experience will suffice. All would have to be citizens. Not now. Well, sort of. It seems that non-citizens will be put on the fast track to become citizens, apparently whether or not they’d even begun their citizenship application process. Isn’t that generous of us! Let’s pass out citizenship to the lowest bidders.

If the truth be known, the reason for the watered-down rules is that the feds can keep the same people on the job. If the reason for the new rules was to make certain security people are the best we can get, then you have to wonder what kind of shell game is being foisted on us.

The former director of general security for El Al Airlines, Isaac Yeffet, was quoted as saying “Every screener is holding on his shoulders a 747 full of passengers. It is impossible to imagine that they would have dropped out of high school.”

Not impossible in the good old US of A. Unfortunately.

Barbara Simpson

Barbara Simpson, "The Babe in the Bunker," as she's known to her radio talk-show audience, has a 20-year radio, TV and newspaper career in the Bay Area and Los Angeles. Read more of Barbara Simpson's articles here.