Kissing an Arab

By Vox Day

I must confess that despite being a Southern Baptist Christian fundamentalist, I have a certain thing in common with the average multicultural atheist. They do not share my faith in Jesus Christ, I do not share their rejection of the notion of Western cultural superiority. I do, however, have all the cultural disdain for them that they hold for me and my kind.

In addition to an inherent suspicion of dead, white European males, their accomplishments and theories, a multiculto (noun, singular, masculine embraces feminine) is defined by his belief in the equivalency of all cultures. This is, of course, utter nonsense, as P.J. O’Rourke demonstrated so colorfully in his imperative and hilarious call for “cliterectomies for all the girls!”

I am not saying that there is absolutely nothing that the postmodern West could stand to learn from a tribe of Stone Age cannibals who have somehow managed to eke out a subsistence survival for some 3,000 years, but I imagine that the list of desired cultural additions would prove rather small, at least from the point of view of the average American.

But reason works about as well in stopping the semi-detached minds of the multiculti in their collective tracks as an opossum a semi-detached tractor-trailer. This is unfortunate, because while you might think that in the face of the threat posed by expansionist Islam, the multiculti gaggle (a goose metaphor seems somehow appropriate, don’t you think?), would see fit to come to terms with the Western Christian culture from which it sprang, it has chosen instead to embrace a benighted culture which has even less sympathy for it than I.

This is not only unfortunate, but staggeringly ironic, given that in the eyes of the multiculti, the primary sin committed by Western Christian culture is its noxious interference with the goddess-given right of every man, woman or child to engage in sexual relations with the animal, plant or mineral of his-her desire. After all, who would have invented the steam engine, much less the integrated circuit, were not the individuals responsible free to slake their desire in the most personally satisfactory means available?

Since cultural development apparently depends on who puts what where, it can be no mystery why those countries wherein Islamic culture reigns supreme haven’t achieved a whole lot since their much-appreciated development of the zero and base-10 numerology. On Oct. 3, 2002, Reuters reported that a 50-year-old actress, one Gohar Kheirandish, violated Iran’s Islamic law by kissing the forehead of her director, Ali Zamani, who happens to be young enough to be her son.

The horror, the horror!

The chief of the local department of justice did not delay in ordering the arrest of these two dangerous miscreants, even as a representative of the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei organized a protest against these enemies for targeting Islamic beliefs and trying to harm Islam. If this is the official Islamic reaction to a chaste public kiss, it really makes one look forward to the inevitable verbal histrionics when Baghdad gets flattened later this month.

So perhaps the multiculti operate by an Animal Farm dictum wherein all cultures are equal but some cultures are more equal than others – or perhaps they’re simply a ridiculous band of knee-jerk, anti-Christian, anti-Western, anti-American pseudo-intellectuals. I don’t really care, but I remain astounded by their sensitivity and concern for the Muslims in our midst and out there in the Dar-al-Islam.

Islam does not mean “peace.” It means “submission,” as in: “If you ever give us half a chance, you can forget about Britney Spears, coed dorms and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.” Thus, it’s quite easy to see that “multiculturalist” indisputably means “clueless, self-defeating idiot.”

P.S. – Yes, of course I know that Iran isn’t Arab, but Persian. But you can’t seriously expect me to resist a play on words like that now, can you?