Super Bowl XXXVII is upon us, and the TV commercials will get almost as much attention as the game. Judging by the playoffs, the NFL should play better defense when it comes to ad selection.
And parents had better have a remote handy, unless they don’t mind subjecting their families to soft-core porn fantasies, cross-dressing males and utterly unrealistic scenes of “bar life.”
Bud Light is the worst offender, with several ads that look like they’ve been hatched by feverishly oversexed adolescents. Coors Light urges viewers to drool over twin blondes who mug for the camera like hookers.
The worst ad, “Catfight,” is for Miller Lite. It features two busty women who rip each other’s clothes off to their underwear and wind up mud wrestling. In the cable version, the brunette says to the blonde, “let’s make out.” They are supposed to be arguing over the merits of Miller Lite. What they are doing is providing a porn gateway for young boys and a booster shot for men already addicted to sexual fantasy.
It’s nothing new that sex sells. But how far will the NFL go in allowing increasingly perverse, pornographically tinged commercials? NFL players often do spots for United Way, showing them as community-minded citizens. Meanwhile, racy ads promote sexual excess that will guarantee more clients for the charities helped by United Way. Pornography keeps men trapped in adolescence and destroys marriages. It works like acid rain on hearts and minds.
Here are some of the ads that have sent parents scrambling for the clicker:
Bud Light: A man and a woman are on the phone discussing a fantasy about being dressed in a French maid’s outfit. The woman puts on the get-up and answers the door. The guy is dressed as a maid. After she slams the door in disgust, an older man leers at the cross-dresser and makes a pass. Beer anyone?
Bud Light: A woman talks a man into trying on a flaming-red teddy in a clothing store, saying it turns her on. (Yeah, sure.) As he departs for the changing room, she tells another woman she has just won her third Bud Light. Then, three doors in a changing area open to reveal three men in women’s lingerie. An earlier Bud Light ad featured a man caught naked in a hotel hallway. Last year’s Super Bowl ad, “Satin Sheets,” featured a guy sliding out a window and running around stark naked; what is it with Bud and naked guys? Or cross-dressing guys?
Rolling Rock beer: A man and a woman discuss how many sex partners they had before they met. The guy nervously looks around, seeing various high numbers, then is asked how many beers he wants. When he says “two,” the girl is thrilled, saying that’s the number for her, too. The ad is a big wink at sexual promiscuity.
Miller Lite: A girl is stripping and about to be ravished before the storyteller is interrupted by a friend who says, “That’s my sister!”
And then there’s the Nike ad with a naked guy streaking a soccer game, with his privates blurred. At one point, he does a bump and grind with a microphone stand. Message to young people: What are you waiting for? Look at all the attention he gets!
As millions of Americans of all ages gather to watch the Super Bowl this Sunday, the parents among them will grip the remote, waiting for the latest outrage.
It’s time for the NFL to tell advertisers, especially the beer companies, to clean up their game. Pulling in $1.6 million per 30-second Super Bowl spot, the NFL should be able to throw a little weight around.
If that doesn’t work, they should have Darrell Green or Reggie White pay them a little visit and explain why it’s wrong to corrupt kids.
Robert Knight, who earned the rank of Eagle Scout, is director of the Culture and Family Institute, an affiliate of Concerned Women for America, and a board member of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays.
