In March 2003, American and British forces entered Iraq from the south through Kuwait, from the north through Turkey and the west from Jordan. Preceded by 72 hours of combined missile and jet aircraft assaults, it took just four days for coalition forces to encircle Baghdad and what was left of Saddam Hussein’s once-vaunted Republican Guard. Allied troops paused while forces of the Iraqi opposition entered the city to deal the Ba’ath Party and their leader the coup de grace.
In the final hours, Saddam Hussein, his son Uday, Tariq Aziz and senior military officers attempted to escape dressed in Abayes, the head-to-toe garment of traditional Muslim women. But they were double-crossed by their once-loyal guards who handed them over to American forces (something about a reward) to face justice. Saddam was then extradited to the Netherlands to face charges before the war crimes tribunal at the Hague. What follows is some of the testimony from that proceeding.
Dateline: Oct. 1, 2003, The World Court at The Hague, Netherlands.
Prosecutor to Saddam: “And is it not true that in violation of international law, you manufactured, stockpiled and actually used nerve gas against your own people?”
Saddam: [Silent. Looks bewildered. Looks to his left and then to his right.] “Some people are missing,” he replies through the translator.
Prosecutor: “Missing?”
Saddam: “Yes. The other defendants are missing.”
Prosecutor: “Sir, there are no other defendants in this proceeding.”
Saddam: “Well, there should be. The chemicals that I didn’t get from the Americans in the 1980s, I bought from the French, Germans, Swiss and Russians. Hey, did I mention North Korea?”
Prosecutor: “That is not relevant to this proceeding.”
Saddam: “Not relevant? If you say so. But it wasn’t always like that. I used to be everybody’s favorite tin-horned tyrant, a despot with a difference, a kinder, gentler, killer.”
Judge: “Excuse me, Mr. Hussein? Relevance, please?”
Saddam: “In my salad days, I was the bulwark against radical Islam in Iran, the guy who was going to stop the Ayatollah Khomeini from destabilizing the Middle East. The oil sheiks loved me. I had credit at Credit Suisse, dinars at the Deutsche Bank and even a few shekels at Bank Leumi. And a charge card from Citicorp. Even Reagan gave me a wink and a nod. So I had a few warts. Who doesn’t?”
Prosecutor: “I would not describe the murder of thousands, not to mention the casualties you caused by waging aggressive war against Iran, as ‘a few warts.'”
Saddam: [Silent. Looks bewildered. Looks to his left and then to his right.] “Where’s Pol Pot? Where’s General Pinochet?
Prosecutor: “They are not on trial here, sir!” [Pause] “Besides, Pol Pot is dead.”
Saddam: Oh, I see. He killed two million Cambodians single-handedly, eh? What killed him? Did he get too close to some Kryptonite?”
Prosecutor: “There is nothing funny about your crimes, sir.”
Saddam: “Let us say that I agree. Nothing funny at all. It was indeed a very serious business. So serious that you may want to ask yourself how it was that a man like me could remain in power for decades, when one of my idols, Herr Hitler, only managed a bare 12 years.”
Judge: “If you have something to say, Mr. Hussein, please say it.”
Saddam: You knew what Iraq was – a phony state that was put together by some British General over tea and crumpets early in the last century. Kurds, Shi’a, Sunni – ungovernable from the start. But nobody cared. ‘Just keep your house in order,’ you all said to me, ‘and don’t let your state break up into Kurdistan, Shia-stan, Iran-a-stan. That’s bad for business, bad for stability. We don’t care how you do it, we won’t look too hard. Just keep the oil flowing and the ayatollahs in their rat holes. And oh yeah, keep those orders for tubes, magnets and Gilbert Chemistry Sets coming in.'”
Prosecutor: “And now, I suppose, we’ll have to listen to Mr. Hussein offer his, ‘Abuse Excuse?'”
Saddam: “Don’t insult me, the one modern Arab who came closest than any other to the legacy of Saladin the Magnificent. I despise your democracies as a Christian invention, but I will tell you this – the one thing that I could have done, the one thing that would have ended my reign within 10 minutes after it started, would have been to declare a so-called democracy for Iraq. I didn’t want it and neither did you. The oil sheiks would have had me assassinated – the one thing they fear more than death itself is an authentic Arab democracy in their neighborhood. And to all of my Western ex-friends, the one thing you feared worse than death was the possibility that a democratic Iraq might, like Iran, vote itself an Islamic government. I may have been a son-of-a-bitch, but I was your son-of-a-bitch.”
Judge: “Any last requests before sentence is passed?”
Saddam: “Yes. Please provide some deodorant to my cellmate, Mr. Milosevic.”
