Dennis Miller rips U.N., France, Germany

By Joe Kovacs

While many Hollywood celebrities have been outspoken against the war in Iraq, comedian Dennis Miller has been among those voicing support for the military action, taking his message to this morning’s broadcast of NBC’s “Late Night with Conan O’Brien.”

Dennis Miller favors U.S. war with Iraq

“I think as a nation periodically, you have to put your foot down and just let people know there’s a line you don’t go beyond,” Miller said. “Now who are we going to bank on? The United Nations? For God sakes, you only have to watch one session of the General Assembly [and] you want to prescribe Ritalin to a glacier, they’re so ineffective.”

Promoting his HBO special this weekend, Miller ripped into France and Germany for their lack of support on the war, and recent statements worrying about the care of post-liberation Iraq.

“Since the French weren’t on the war train … you know we’re gonna find some dirty paper on them vis-a-vis reactor parts and favorable oil deals, I think that’s when Bush calls [French president Jacques] Chirac and says ‘Listen, you didn’t want to fight the war. Who’s gonna take care of the day-to-day needs of the noble Iraqi? You are, you idiot, because I think concierge is a French word, isn’t it?'”

“You never know why the Germans don’t want to get on board,” Miller continued. “Maybe they don’t agree with the war, maybe it’s not on a grand enough scale.”

Conan O’Brien

O’Brien then asked the comic a series of often-heard complaints from anti-war activists.

“There’s people that worry that now we’re gonna be in a world of suicide bombers and people that are willing to give their life to cause trouble,” said O’Brien.

“They existed before this. They’re gonna exist after this,” Miller responded. “You know other than the bombs they strap to their chest, I have absolutely no idea what makes suicide bombers tick.”

O’Brien continued: “A lot of people who oppose this war are saying, ‘Listen, there’s a huge negative backlash internationally,’ [that] we should worry about that.”

“There is anyway, Conan,” said Miller. “Look at 9-11. How much worse is it gonna get than that, that backlash they keep talking about? Listen, you have to remember, we’re gonna have to protect ourselves now. It’s time to circle the SUVs because America is simultaneously the world’s most loved, hated, admired and feared nation. … In short, we’re Frank Sinatra. And you know something, ‘The Chairman’ did not make his bones lying down for punks outside the Fontainebleu [Hotel].”

Miller received huge laughs through the segment, even referring to North Korean leader Kim Jong Il as “Chia dictator” in reference to his “bizarrre” hair.

Not only did Miller analyze Operation Iraqi Freedom, he took a moment to touch on domestic problems including tort reform in the U.S.

He was especially miffed about overweight Americans looking to sue fast-food outlets and the Big Three automakers.

“They say that the seatbelts in the cars don’t fit around their waist,” said Miller. “Now folks, if you can’t get the seatbelt in a car around your waist, a head-on collision is like the least of your health concerns.”

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