The lizard queen and bad boys

By Vox Day

“[U]ntil at last we look upon that eerie lidless gaze, and, with tears of fear and joy streaming down our faces, proclaim our love for her.” So, is this a reference to the ending of ‘1984’? I am reminded of the pigs in ‘Animal Farm’ when I see Hillary.

– Tom

You got it – it’s just a paraphrase, really. I have to say, I am tremendously disappointed that no one mentioned the Monty Python quote. It was even topical!

On Hillary of Hell: I got quite a chuckle from your missive and must say that I concur. I do think you exercised restraint in your assessment which I will have to attribute to your obvious enlightened upbringing in a Christian home.

– Dennis

Yes, I’m quite notorious for my restraint. Dennis, with all due respect, have you ever read my column before?

You are trying to completely dehumanize Hillary Clinton. In fact, you challenge the fact that she is human. Well, she is married to a man and gave birth to a seemingly human daughter. I guess biologically she is no less of a human being than you, sir. … I mean, you are entitled to have your enemies and choose them as you please, but it is not a good style to treat them with such utter disrespect.

– Boris

I can only note that even Boris feels the need to qualify the lizard queen’s ability to spawn convincingly human progeny with the word “seemingly.”

The admittedly courageous and brilliant Iceni queen, Boadicea, was put in her place at the Battle of Mona Island in 61 AD. There, 10,000 Roman soldiers led by the even more brilliant Suetonius Paullinus defeated the 80,000 troops of Boadicea and routed them, probably the last time Italians were ever good soldiers. The Iceni queen, humiliated by the defeat of her army and the deaths of her daughters, took poison.

– Patrick

Must … not … respond. …

I have begun reading your columns recently and they are as entertaining as they are informative. My only comment is that hair growing on either side of your head will not affect your ability to write. I’ve shared some of your articles with some office idiots. Their comments are never directed towards your words, only that you look like a Nazi. That’s OK, I suppose, I have a full head of hair and they think I’m a Nazi, too. Do you ever appear on TV? I would like to see you debate with the morons on the left.

– Steve

The National Socialists had mohawks? Who knew? I’ve yet to do a television appearance, and I suspect it would likely be a disaster anyhow, as there’s no time for any depth or support for one’s assertions. I’d probably clock the first doorknob who said they didn’t agree with my facts based on their opinion, as I once heard a woman tell John Lott. Some are called to be writers and others read teleprompters, I suppose. TV may help with fame and fortune, but fundamentally, it blows.

Do you think CAIR is a terrorist organ as Daniel Pipes says? Pipes is Bush’s choice to add to his Near/Middle East advisory board and CAIR has opened an office here. Wouldn’t mean as much but the head Islamics here are both unknowns and one claims to be from a place that is nowhere to be found.

– Gary

The Council on American-Islamic Relations is an apologist voice for many Islamic organizations, including Hamas and other known terrorist groups. I’ve been the beneficiary of their e-mail barrages myself in the past. I’ve yet to see anyone successfully refute Mr. Pipes’ statements about CAIR, as he documents the refutations and his convincing responses to them on his website.

What in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks was Mike talking about? Catholic imperialism? How do you put up with these kinds of insane letters?

– Kim

You’re kidding, right? They make my day! That was a classic, and I even got to work in the Spanish Inquisition.

Sensitive, good-looking men are like scented candles, long hot bubble baths, mink coats and chocolate all rolled into one as far as women are concerned. Vox, I agree with everything you said, except for the notion that without a good woman, men are more able to fall into these things. Unfortunately, women are held accountable for their actions while men use excuses.

– Mandy

I think you’re forgetting that what women enjoy, what gets them going, tend to be things in which they can indulge freely without notice. A woman can get together regularly with a man, even engage in serious flirtation with him, and no one is aware that she is thinking X-rated thoughts about what she’d like him to do to her. A man, on the other hand, can’t even walk innocently into a strip club without a presumption of lascivious intent.

Oh, relax, I’m kidding! But speaking as a retired and reformed member of the bad boys’ wolf patrol, I can state with some authority that women don’t like nice, sensitive guys half as much as they think they do.

Vox Day

Vox Day is a Christian libertarian and author of "The Return of the Great Depression" and "The Irrational Atheist." He is a member of the SFWA, Mensa and IGDA, and has been down with Madden since 1992. Visit his blog, Vox Popoli. Read more of Vox Day's articles here.