They are tossing guerrilla fireworks out onto the street from the roof of the tacky nearby Philadelphia apartment building we call “The Tenement” all day July Fourth in the Cradle of Liberty, celebrating … something, who knows what.
The constant explosions are irritating. They sound like sharp cracks of gunfire – or, yes, even bombs – and it begins to feel as if we are living in an Iraqi free-fire zone. Every time one gets set off, my 20-something neighbor “McGrady” jumps as if shot – the noise makes him nervous. Some of the other residents voice concern our flimsily constructed Civil War-era row-houses would conflagrate and go up in smoke ere we had a chance to sell them, rake in our profits and flee to a kinder, gentler place.
Now, though the Fourth’s over, our street’s smooth asphalt is still annoyingly littered with those crappy burnt-out pyrotechnic devices, resembling nothing so much as failed brochettes.
Today is relatively quiet here after the Fourth’s fever pitch of excitement, when Philly makes the national news for a near-disaster. The scene’s the official inauguration of the new Constitution Center here, as a row of United States dignitaries including Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, Sen. Arlen Specter, and Philadelphia Mayor John Street sitting on the museum dais narrowly escape being smashed to death by a falling chunk of the building – a large iron-and-wood frame topples over onto the stage.
Momentarily, the apparently unflappable Supreme Court justice is heard to remark via live mike, “Gee, we could have all been killed.” Suffering merely slight injuries, Sen. Specter, Mayor Street, a federal judge and the Constitution Center’s founder and head honcho are rushed to the hospital, treated, then released.
What remains unresolved: Was it an unfortunate accident, sabotage, vandalism, prank, political dirty tricks or outright terrorism? And, why wasn’t the safety and security of every nail, screw, bolt, girder, plank, beam, wall, ceiling, structure at that location checked out exhaustively and tested completely in advance by the flippin’ feds – just as they surely did meticulous background investigations on all the party entertainers there?
Personally, of course, I see this falling I-beam incident as a grievous lapse in national security, but, hey, that’s me, ParanoiaChick. Almost 50 people were on that stage. It could have been the president up there for the launch ceremony – except for some reason, the Bushling didn’t deign to show up or even send his representative to the opening festivities of this major and unique constitutional showcase. Otherwise, he might have been squashed like a bug. Or, heaven forfend, brain-damaged.
And where’s Vice President Cheney? Being reconstituted and reanimated? Again?
“It’s a surprising thing to have happened,” declares “Stitch,” an engineer buddy online. “Somebody definitely dropped a ball.”
I suggest the BushWah administration correct these egregious oversights in national security rather than promoting its usual array of macho swagger and testosteronic tactics, such as contemplating boarding and searching foreign aircraft from so-called “rogue nations,” which, in the end, will probably prove meaningless if Homeland Security remains the sham it currently is.
What are we paying the FBI, CIA, Secret Service and Homeland Security for, anyhow? Harrassment and surveillance of regular citizens? Bureaucratic snafus and tripping over their own feet? Time to get to work, fellas, before the next serious near-tragedy occurs, and the next. Your butts are on the line. And so are ours.
