Memo from the voters

To: Congress and the Executive

Subject: Supreme Court

From: The Voters

Ahem … it’s us. Things going well there from your perspective, are they? Yes, we’ve been rather quiet since we changed administrations three years ago. Tough bit of work that was, too! It came right down to the wire: butterfly ballots, hanging chads, delayed military ballots and people rising from the grave outside Chicago to vote. And that court! But in the end, we prevailed.

Our silence means we recognize the world is different since 9-11. We’ve been digesting the changes. By and large, you’ve been doing a commendable job. Further outrages here at home have been prevented, and you’ve made progress repaying our enemies for their attempts at forced national conversion to Islamic Law. Good work.

But there have been one or two alarming developments of late, which is why we’re contacting you. It’s the Supreme Court. You know the one, Mr. President? For the longest time it seemed benign to us. Oh, it made mistakes, like Roe v. Wade and the years of civil strife that followed, but somebody has to mediate the disputes that arise between us. We can’t just be killing one another.

But gentlemen! These last couple of decisions … we don’t want to be alarmist, but frankly, we’re alarmed! Have any of you actually read those decisions? Yes, it takes a while to get through them, but good heavens, haven’t you been paying any attention to those folks over there? They’re just down the street from you.

Justice O’Connor just said that the 14th Amendment doesn’t apply to colleges and universities! They are free to discriminate on race, as long as they discriminate against white people! And a majority concurred with her!

Then there’s this “right to privacy for sodomy” decision. They’re just making this stuff up. Haven’t the ensuing years since Roe v. Wade had any impact on even one of you in Washington? We’re not going to go through another generation of civil strife like that. Demonstrations, lawsuits, killings – no, we’re not going to tolerate it. You have to do something about the Court.

Let’s face it: We all knew there were a few cottonwoods among the legal oaks over there, but their reasoning – one hesitates to call it that – and their public statements … well, we are very concerned! No, we are alarmed! Have you actually read what Justice Breyer said?

“Through commerce, through globalization, through the spread of democratic institutions, through immigration to America, it’s becoming more and more one world of many different kinds of people,” he continued. “And how they’re going to live together across the world will be the challenge, and whether our Constitution and how it fits into the governing documents of other nations, I think will be a challenge for the next generations.” (New York Times, July 6, 2003)

Gentlemen, this is not the statement of a man prepared to defend the Constitution with his life! Some of you need to go over there and explain to him how the Constitution is changed. And the majority over there appears to agree with him! Haven’t you heard the shrill dissents by the other justices? They are warning that disaster lies directly ahead.

We were under the impression that you questioned these people before appointing them? What happened? More importantly, what are you going to do about it? We can’t just “let it go.” Read the founding documents. Flirting with other nations, incorporating their judicial systems and social customs, that’s the job of the president and the Senate. We in the hinterlands may not always like the results, but if the rules are followed, we generally go along.

You must know this, but there’s only a bare minimum of decent legal minds on the Court. We know this “inclusion” and “diversity” stuff are all the rage in our nation’s capitol, where you reside most of the year. But really! Sandra Day O’Connor? What ever possessed you? We’re talking traffic court here. Let this be a lesson to you about affirmative action. And David Souter? Wasn’t he still living with his mother when you elevated him to the bench?

The whole lot of them are talking openly about bringing the United States more in line with other nations’ justice systems, for heaven’s sake! Need we remind you of the millions of people from other judicial systems trying to get into our nation? We’ve read the Constitution over and over again, and the only way it can be changed is by amendment! (By the way, we know that building they work in is old. Has it been checked recently for lead pipes, asbestos tiles, mold or sick-building syndrome? No one pays much attention to them throughout the year – this could be a progressive disease.)

Now comes the hard part. They can’t stay, you know. It’s just not possible. We’re sure they’re nice folks; we have nothing against them personally. But it’s time to admit that we’ve all made a terrible mistake with this diversity and inclusion stuff. We need jurists there. Jurists. Legal oaks – not fluffy-minded cottonwoods. They’ve got to go – the ones who have signed on to these decisions. That’s the way the governing document is written. And you’re the ones. You have to do it.

You see what will happen if you don’t? Today the 14th Amendment no longer applies to public universities. Tomorrow the First Amendment will no longer apply, or the Second – they’ll just work their way through the list. And they expect us to accept that? You expect us to accept that? There’s not enough tea in Boston, gentlemen. We have to consider the next generation.

Which brings us to the specifics. You have to impeach them. It’s not simple disagreement over a decision – we are fair-minded people. They’ve now set aside the law in favor of their own personal whims. The Constitution says they are there during good behavior. Good behavior ended years ago with the manufactured rights of Roe v. Wade. The party’s over. Things are going to get ugly. Please act before that happens. We will review your efforts in 2004.

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