Pachyderms perform for president

The scandal-scarred New York Times apparently tried to look above it all last week, in Gabarone, Botswana.

The Times published an Agence France-Presse photograph of President Bush and his attractive daughter Barbara petting the trunk of an elephant at the Mokolodi Nature Reserve.

The Times caption was: “They encountered a reassuring sight among the park’s animals.”

That is one of journalistic history’s most memorable understatements – about which my repeated calls to the Times could evoke no comment whatsoever.

For the Washington Post, from that very same Mokolodi Nature Reserve, had the following headline:

BUSH GETS AN EYEFUL ON AFRICAN SAFARI; ELEPHANTS PUT ON R-RATED PERFORMANCE FOR FIRST FAMILY

Post reporter Dana Milbank reported the following – which the New York Times decided to censor:

“President Bush went into the bush for a brief safari at the Mokolodi Nature Reserve after lunch today and came across something far more captivating than the usual zebras and giraffes: elephants in flagrante delicto. The president, the first lady, their daughter Barbara and a guide, all seated on the back of a Toyota pick-up, bounced down the reserve’s dirt road until happening upon four playful Pachyderms munching on an Acacia tree.

“The male, Shaka, mounted one of the females, Thandi, in full view of the presidential party. The two other elephants watched – as did the first family – while the two 13-year-olds mated.

“The president turned to the truck full of cameras behind him and smiled sheepishly. Barbara Bush tossed back her head and covered her face with her hands. The president threw his cap over his face to shield his eyes from the spectacle.”

The Post even published an Associated Press photograph of these elephants mating. But the elephant mount is small, because the photograph includes the yellow pick-up truck in which the Bushes watched.

This brought back memories to White House press corps veterans of the occasion on the White House South Lawn when President Reagan was addressing an appearance by three of Austria’s famed Lippizaner Stallions.

The Great Communicator was speaking from a vantage point where he could not see what the press corps could all see: those huge and world-famed stallions had become sexually aroused.

Sam Donaldson in his superb book, “Hold on Mr. President!” reported:

“Really quite extraordinary. I mean, we are talking about several feet … horses that to the casual observer have suddenly grown a fifth leg. All the TV cameras were quickly directed at the horses, as Reagan, whose view of this was blocked by the front legs of the horses, intoned, ‘We have only seen just a tiny bit of what they actually do in their exhibitions partly due to the soft ground here.'”

The Gipper just couldn’t understand why all those reporters were choking with laughter.

The Post’s jump-over headline on the African elephants read: BUSH SEES ELEPHANTS, BIRDS AND BEES. And the further details were as follows:

“The president regained his composure quickly. He turned again to face the photographers waving his cap and smiling. With all the people watching and cameras clicking, the elephants apparently developed some performance anxiety after a few minutes.

“The male dismounted without success. The first family continued to watch, however, and applauded the elephants for their performance.

“Bush at one point turned to his wife and whispered something in her ear. Microphones were not able to record this utterance, but based on the first lady’s reaction, one can assume the joke was at the elephants’ expense. Laura Bush slapped her husband on the thigh.”