Remember when school was all about learning? You know … the really unimportant stuff like “2+2=4” and the letters “r-e-d” spelled “red”? How about the marginally unimportant stuff like American history, the table of elements and geometry? Of course now, in failing schools all across America, we have finally arrived at the moment where the “most important” subject can now finally be taught: “How does a bisexual, transgendered, she-male utilize a condom when wishing to embark on sexual adventures with a tree?”

And, of course, segregation is back now – at least in New York. But soon it will be popping up in places like Chicago, Los Angeles and maybe even James Lileks hometown somewhere in the cold nether regions of Minnesota.

Maybe you still haven’t heard.

This last legislative session, Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York felt it was more important to earn himself some future campaign cash from the homosexual lobby groups, so he allocated over $3 million in spending to revamp a building and call it a “safe haven.”

“A safe haven for whom,” I hear you inquire. “Is it for kids who live in drug- and gang-infested environments – who must risk life and limb and because they so valiantly desire to complete their education against all odds, and because they are being gunned down every day in the stray bullets of the turf warfare of the big bad city – that it is necessary to give them said ‘safe haven’?”

Not quite.

Mayor Bloomberg in New York – and look for Mayor Daley to soon follow suit in Chicago – believes it is necessary to sequester away from the rest of the student population, from the millions of normal Joes and Susies who make the trek each day, roughly 100 kids who identify themselves as “someone who would like to have sex with someone just like them.” Let’s see … 100 kids at $3,200,000 of taxpayers’ dollars … by my poorly honed, formerly homeschooled math skills, that’s a $32,000 taxpayer-funded education.

Now that makes a lot of sense, given that kids in the poorest school districts in cities like Chicago and New York aren’t even allowed to carry their textbooks home because the district doesn’t have enough money for each child to have their own.

When you read the fine print of the plan, you do see some of the benefits … culinary classes. Ah, what would this world be if our taxpayer-funded educational institutions couldn’t guarantee to the “Gay Chefs of America” organization that up and coming chefs don’t know the difference between their gorgonzola from their ahi. I know … scary, scary thought.

“But if you don’t let these 100 kids go to this school, they might face harassment,” come the objections.

Kids getting harassed in public schools? Wait! Stop the presses! Does that happen? I never knew that.

Of course, sophisticated, thinking people might have the gall to ask the question: “Aren’t there already rules on the books for kids who treat other kids criminally?”

“Shhh” – can’t let people, especially taxpayers know anything about that – they might call for enforcement of current rules.

But the one tremendous upside to all of it? Mayors Bloomberg and Daley both understand that the homosexual population in America is the wealthiest per capita of any group. (Not a good argument for the need for more “special protections,” but a great asset for politicians who need campaign money.) So if they keep shelling out loads of taxpayer dough for political payback favors, they are quite likely to end up benefiting from some of that needed campaign cash.

Just one problem: They better pray that the American reaction to all of this placating to people based on who they want to have sex with changes soon. According to a USAToday / Gallup poll, more people – for the first time since the 1990s – believe that homosexual behavior is not “an acceptable alternative lifestyle.” So if the voters are increasingly dissatisfied with having “gay” sex shoved down their throats, it might just not turn out so good for the politicians who keep throwing away thousands of dollars – nay even millions – on such silly things as “an all-gay high school.”

On a more serious note, the backing of such an institution does nothing but send the very kids who truly need much real love and support to a place where all they hear, see and learn reinforces a system that damages them. Several weeks ago, I wrote about “The Gay Truth,” and my question in light of this is: Why would we as taxpayers stand by and let our elected mayors get away with pulling such a politically based stunt at the cost of the future of our kids?

I doubt Mayors Bloomberg or Daley could answer that question.

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