Casting call, cattle call, recall

I was about 10 years old, and Ronald Reagan would appear on television every week, sponsoring the Zane Gray Theater and doing spots for the powdered soap, "Twenty Mule Team Borax." I'm convinced that it wasn't the "B" movies of the 1950s that took Reagan to the White House – it was those ads for Borax. The soon-to-be governor of California and prez was on the tube, costumed in the garb of the Old West and talking straight about rugged individualism, family values and cleaning up with "Twenty Mule Team Borax."

But that was then and this is now. Today we have a gunslinger in the White House, so it seems only fitting that we should have a Terminator in California. But there's no western garb for Arnold Schwarzenegger. In fact, there's hardly any garb at all. The former Austrian body builder, like that other citizen-patriot Jesse Ventura, is more comfortable – at least from the waist up – in his birthday suit. And he doesn't clean up with soap. Instead, he uses futuristic-looking guns, cannons and a host of incredible armaments that not even Ronald Reagan's Star Wars team imagined.

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What does any of this say about the state of our Republic? I'll be the first to admit that "Throw the bums out" has been a persistent theme of American elections since George Washington decided not to run for a third term. What is happening in California may be perfectly legal, but like the impeachment of Bill Clinton, it's a dangerous precedent and it's just plain wrong.

Don't get me wrong. I go to sleep at night dreaming that a Democrat will win the 2004 presidential election. But I'm not willing to impeach (the federal equivalent of a recall vote) George Bush to do it. Gray Davis may be the most incompetent governor in history (I don't think so), but not a year has gone by since he was elected by a majority of citizens in California. And it's not like he's done anything truly impeachable since then.

Yes, state finances are a mess. Some of it may be his fault and some the fault of the obstructionist Republican minority in the state legislature. But, as they used to say in Washington, "The only thing that will get you in political hot water is waking up next to a dead girl or a live boy." And, OK, Davis has raised the automobile tax to cover a spiraling $38 billion deficit and a collapsing bond rating – but, hey, if this is the new standard for recall, just think about:

• Abe Lincoln issues the Emancipation Proclamation. It's unpopular. Impeach him!

• Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the Lend-Lease Treaty with England which helps them fight the Nazis. Most Americans oppose it. Impeach him!

• Gerald Ford pardons Richard Nixon in an effort to heal the country. Lots of Democrats are unhappy. Impeach him! (I've added this just to show that I'm not all-partisan-all-the-time.)

I think you get the idea. But in case you don't, here's another idea: We're a republic and not a 24-7 plebiscite. And states, before they are admitted to the Union, are required by the Constitution to adopt a republican form of government. That means you cast your vote and take your chances – for two years with the House of Representatives, four years with governors and the president, and six years with senators.

And let's check the scorecard, shall we? The War of 1812, the Panic of 1837, the Civil War, the Spanish American War, World War I, the Great Depression, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the Cold War and unnumbered scandals, recessions, depressions and panics, and ... if it ain't broke, why fix it?

I don't have anything against Arnold. I don't necessarily hold a brief for Gray Davis either. But if a recall or impeachment could be had at the first sign of public dissatisfaction, you can bet the British would still be occupying Washington; the Confederacy would be celebrating its 142nd year of independence; Japanese would be the only spoken language of the Pacific Rim – just as German would be in London and Paris. Our form of government has lasted so long because the interval between elections occasionally gives politicians breathing room to lots of unpopular and nasty – but absolutely necessary – things.

The old political saw used to say, "As goes Maine, so goes the nation." To update that a bit, just substitute California for the Downeast state.

And if California's recall represents a trend of what's to come, maybe Arnold's famous tag line, "Hasta la vista, Baby" is the epitaph for our republican form of government.