Republicans out to steal another election

What's the difference between the California Recall and my golf game? There is none. Confused? Read on.

As a weekend hacker, I enjoy the game of golf, but I don't take it too seriously. I know I'll never qualify for the PGA – not even the senior PGA. I'm out to have a good time. I'm out to hit a good shot. So if I don't hit a good shot the first time, I keep dropping more balls and hitting more shots until I hit a good one.

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In other words, I cheat and steal at golf. Which is what Republicans do at elections. If they don't win the first time, they keep doing it over and over again until they do win. California's not the first time. It's just the latest.

It started, of course, in Florida. We all remember that mess. On election night, it was not clear who won, Bush or Gore. Networks first declared Gore the winner, then Bush, then nobody. Bush led by a narrow margin, but thousands of butterfly ballots were in dispute. Thousands more were up in the air over hanging, dimpled or pregnant chads. The only way to resolve it was a full, statewide recount – or at least a recount of the most screwed-up county tallies.

And that's exactly what the Florida Supreme Court was set to order. Until the Republican-dominated U.S. Supreme Court stepped in, shut down the recount, and stole the election for George W. Bush: parachuting an unelected president into the White House. That was public election theft No. 1.

Public election theft No. 2 is now taking place in Texas. Like every other state, Texas redraws its electoral districts every 10 years, based on the federal census. Three years ago, Republican and Democratic legislators were unable to agree on a plan, so a panel of federal judges took over and adopted a new reapportionment plan giving Texas 17 Democrats and 15 Republicans in the U.S. Congress.

Officially, that settled it for the next 10 years. But not according to the rules of my golf game, or the GOP's election game.

Once Republicans took control of the legislature in 2002, they immediately – under orders from House Majority Leader Tom DeLay – tried to force through a new election remap giving Texas 22 Republicans in Congress and only 10 Democrats.

That blatant grand larceny was only prevented by the dramatic flight of Democratic representatives to Oklahoma and the current escape of Democratic senators to New Mexico, where they remain in exile today, weeping for Babylon.

Enter the California Recall: Public election theft No. 3. I'm often asked: How could something like this ever happen to a great state like California? Here's how. Last November, California had an election. Like every other state, California has a lot of budget problems – thanks to a sinking Bush economy – but voters still decided to re-elect Democrat Gray Davis.

That should have settled it for four years. But a band of right-wing Republicans, bankrolled by multimillionaire Republican Congressman Darrell Issa, refused to accept the results of the election. Adopting the new Republican ethic of "Keep Trying Till You Win," they forced a rerun of the election, only 11 months later.

Result: this colossal embarrassment called the California recall. One hundred thirty-five candidates on the ballot. A totally unnecessary election, costing taxpayers $67 million. A totally unfair election, where the incumbent governor could get 49.9 percent of the vote and lose, while a challenger could get only 10 percent of the vote and win. The chance for a porn star or smut peddler to become leader of the largest state in the union, with no more credentials than the ability to collect the signatures of 65 friends and fork over $3,500.

And they call this democracy? No, this isn't democracy. This is pure anarchy. But make no mistake about it. It didn't just suddenly happen, like a tremor of the San Andreas fault. This is part of an organized, continuing, nationwide Republican plot to undermine and reverse legitimate elections. This is nothing but pure contempt for democracy. Starting in Florida, this is the legacy of George W. Bush.

Back to my golf game. There's a big difference between stealing an extra golf shot and stealing a whole election. One's a lot more serious than the other. But I'm ready to make a deal: I'll stop cheating at golf – if Republicans will stop cheating at elections.