Franken-whine's monster

When it was revealed a while back that liberals were seeking their own radio or television network to produce talk shows from the viewpoint of the left, Al Franken's name was mentioned as someone who would make a great host. His new book, specifically the controversy over the title, is helping to provide some insight into the sort of mindset that demonstrates why liberals have failed so horrendously at talk radio and TV ventures – and why they will continue to do so.

Franken, the former "Saturday Night Live" writer and occasional performer, is being sued by Fox News for using their "fair and balanced" slogan in his forthcoming book, "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right." Since the lawsuit was announced, the book began speeding up the sales charts. Score an immediate victory for Franken's title tactics, at least until Democrats sue him for stealing their trademarked slogan, "lying liars."

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In addition to the wording, the cover of Franken's book has a look similar to the covers of Bill O'Reilly's books. Another of Franken's previous releases was called "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot." The only thing uniquely Franken on the cover of any of these books is the photo of Franken himself, and at this point I can't even confirm that's him. It could be some right-winger who happens to resemble Franken, whom Franken is hoping sues him for using his photo.

If Franken's book covers were music, this would be called "sampling." Take a musical composition people are already familiar with, change the beat ever so slightly, alter the lyrics, and sell it based on the listeners' familiarity with the original. It's a cheesy tactic to gain attention in the cheapest possible way, and it should be completely ignored by Fox News.

The Franken mindset is a blessing as well as a curse for him. By stirring controversy over titles, he'll sell more books, but the "title shock" philosophy won't cut it in talk radio or television. Gimmickry doesn't work daily. Imagine it's Christmas morning at the home of a liberal. By wrapping a gift in paper that displays photos of great presents, they hope nobody will notice that the box is empty. They will.

In daily radio and television, it's an issue of content over title, but Franken has proven you can sell books by having it the other way around. Liberal tomes, even ones that are supposed to be funny, are like eggs – you can't crack 'em open more than once. Authors like Franken know this. They know that in the absence of content and /or a struggle to offset general disinterest, the cover must grab attention, since the material inside may only appeal to two or three Berkeley profs who have just smoked their hemp shirts.

Liberals think all conservative success is gimmick driven, and they, as unoriginal followers and perpetual critics, instead of creative innovators, try to cruise down that imaginary road themselves – fast, at night, and with their lights off.

They think Rush Limbaugh must be successful because he's fooling people with blatant lies, and Fox News must be winning the cable news-ratings race because of some sort of promotional charade geared toward us, the "empty-headed masses." Liberals naturally and gleefully follow these false assumptions into their own media endeavors, because lies and deception are two of their greatest talents.

In talk radio and television, you have to, in essence, sell people a book every single day. This is why any attempt by the left at talk radio and / or television will last only a day or two. After the title of the show, which will be some initial attention-getter, like "Rupert Murdoch is a Pinhead" or "The Deity You Worship Doesn't Exist," the content will be embarrassingly nil and the show will have the life span of an opossum that lives next to the Ohio Turnpike.

Fox News should just drop its lawsuit against Franken. Absent of any help from conservatives, liberals and their books would be equally as popular as their TV and radio shows. Sure, they can still make fun of right wingers in their titles, but they'll lose the benefit of saving a fortune by having their enemies do all of their advertising and promotion for them, such as Fox News is doing for Franken.

Being an Al Franken-style liberal must generate a certain degree of personal frustration. To loathe all things conservative, and yet have such a suckling dependency upon them in order to make a living, would drive any sane person crazy. But maybe I just hit upon a key point.