When the cameras stopped rolling

Editor's note: Michael Ackley's columns are satire and parody based on current events, and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell which is which.

Reporters for the major media were in such a hurry to file their stories on last week's California gubernatorial debate, they missed the bigger debate – and perhaps the better story – that arose after the candidates left the dais and wandered into the parking lot.

There they encountered two candidates who had been excluded from the televised free-for-all – and Gov. Gray Davis, who also was shut out.

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Pornographer Larry Flynt was there in his wheelchair. Famous nearly-naked lady Angelyne was present, though clothed.

"Hey!" yelled Flynt, "We all had something important to say, but we were ..."

"I don't think much of the way you treat women, either," interrupted Arianna Huffington. "Why, you're ..."

"You know nothing about the business," interrupted Angelyne. "In fact, you ..."

"Are those real?" interrupted Arnold Schwarzenegger. "The people of Cah-lee-for-nee-ah want to know if ..."

"You want to talk about exploitation? I understand exploitation," interrupted Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante. "I know about picking peaches and strawberries and ..."

"I've tried to be respectful of everybody," interrupted Green Party candidate Peter Camejo, "but you all make so much money you should be taxed more heavily. It's a mistake ..."

"I know I've made mistakes," interrupted Davis, "but I was elected to govern and I'm going to keep governing until ..."

"Until you bankrupt the state," interrupted state Sen. Tom McClintock. "My specific plans are to ..."

"We don't even get to tell our plans," yelled Flynt.

"You exploit women," yelled Huffington.

"Are those real?" asked Schwarzenegger.

"Our state needs illegal immigrants," intoned Bustamante.

"They pay taxes, too," said Camejo.

"Tahks, tahks, tahks," said Schwarzenegger.

"I know I stand for something," said Angelyne.

"You're just a shill for the Bush administration," interjected Huffington.

"I really do have specific plans," sighed McClintock.

"Wait a minute," commanded Davis. "Where are the media?"

They looked around forlornly at the nearly empty parking lot, gave a collective shrug of their shoulders, shook hands all around and dispersed to their waiting automobiles.

McClintock alone remained in the wind-swept lot, watching as the others drove away.

"I really, really do have specific plans," he said.

Unfortunately, nobody was there to hear him – just as during the televised debate.

It might be helpful for Californians and the rest of the nation to understand that the Golden State's governor really does have a lot to say about the budget, contrary to Davis' protestation that it's really all up to the Legislature.

Apart from the fact that the governor drafts and submits a budget, it should be noted that the California Constitution says, in Article Four, Section 10 (e), "The Governor may reduce or eliminate one or more items of appropriation while approving other portions of a bill.

"The Governor shall append to the bill a statement of the items reduced or eliminated with the reasons for the action. The governor shall transmit to the house originating the bill a copy of the statement and reasons.

"Items reduced or eliminated shall be separately reconsidered and may be passed over the governor's veto in the same manner as bills."

This is the "line item veto" that Congress tried to give to President Bill Clinton, only to have the courts rule it unconstitutional at the federal level.

It's OK for the states, however, and California governors in the past have wielded the "blue pencil" with vigor. Ronald Reagan, in particular, comes to mind.

Gray Davis, or any governor, could balance the budget, assuming said administrator was willing to take the political heat for making cuts in programs and personnel.

Davis has been unwilling to take that heat, and that's part of the reason he's on the hot seat. The question is, would any of his potential successors have the backbone to do the job?