The Clintons – what a family!

No, I haven't read Bill Clinton's autobiography, and I don't intend to read it. Reading about it is bad enough.

For example, this from the New York Times, in which Clinton is quoted as saying he had tried to forgive the right-wingers who hounded him. In a sentence that could replace syrup of ipecac in clinics across the country, our Bill writes, "After all the forgiveness that I have been given (by) Hillary, Chelsea, my friends and millions of people in America and across the world, it's the least I can do." Pardon me while I gag.

TRENDING: Public school has failed American kids: Student with 0.13 GPA ranks near top half of class

One national TV commentator asked if Bill shouldn't be given credit for all the work he had done to keep his family together. We are impelled to ask: Do you mean the family that has a house in Connecticut, another residence in Washington, D.C., offices in Harlem and a library in Arkansas? The family that is "together" when the political calendar calls for it? The family that is "together" when all three show up at the same place by accident? ... The Times quotes Phil Singer, a spokesman for John Kerry's campaign, as saying Clinton critics "are stuck in a time warp. The fact is that people are tired of the political blame game." Somebody better tell your candidate, Phil.

Last week's column that sampled "collegiate" writing drew a number of responses, such as this, from Richard B. of Colorado:

"When discovered that students in (my) 'shop' classes could not put together a coherent sentence, I expressed that concern to the administration. I was told that grammar, spelling, etc. belonged in spelling classes and were of no concern with regard to 'writing class,' and that students not attending college 'had no need for writing anyway,' if they were going to 'learn how to work with their hands rather than their minds.'

"As a result, the computerized manufacturing/machining industry, plumbing contractors, building contractors, electrical contractors and others are encountering applicants who are functionally illiterate and non-hirable, but have a high-school diploma."

That writer and C.C. Martin suggest that the fundamentals of English be taught in the K-12 education system, but that isn't likely as long as classrooms are run by the likes of a fellow James T. encountered while substitute teaching.

Our correspondent found punctuation errors in quotations posted on the classroom walls, so he taught the students the proper form. When the teacher returned, he told the learned substitute he was wrong.

"I cited my references and asked him for his," he relates. "He said I was wrong.

"I asked him to show me documentation demonstrating that I was wrong. He said I was wrong.

"I seized one of the readily accessible and readily available classroom dictionaries (one per student) and showed him the grammar and punctuation section which supported my position. He said – I was wrong.

"I smiled. I am a substitute. He has tenure. ..."

And there you have the nub of the problem: Illiterates control the education establishment.

Our correspondent leaves us with the following postscript: "One time I gave a pop quiz. One written question was 'Spell "jalapeno,''' with an underlined, fill-in-the-blank area beside it.

"Seventeen left it blank. Four spelled it correctly. One person wrote, 'I don't know.'

"Fear the future!"

OK, it's not in the same league with the Chicago judge who helped a robbery suspect evade arrest, but shouldn't a superior court judge know statute law?

From CalAware, a new organization devoted to open government, comes word that San Diego County Superior Court Judge Lisa Guy-Schall has ruled the public is not entitled to know the "performance goals set for the president of a community college district by its board of trustees."

According to CalAware, "Judge Guy-Schall ruled that the goals set by the board were not disclosable as part of (the president's) employment contract, and that (the plaintiff) had cited no law making them a matter of public record."

Somebody should tell her honor California law defines public records as "any writing containing information related to the conduct of the public's business, prepared, owned, used or retained by the state or local agency . ..."