The ongoing hilarity of Kerry-Edwards campaign

By Les Kinsolving

The Kerry-Edwards Campaign continues to be hilarious. In Boston, Mrs. Kerry actually announced: “I have to say that John Edwards is very beautiful and my husband is very smart.”

This latest – from what is widely predicted to be a goldmine of uninhibited political bombshells – led the New York Times’ Dragon Lady columnist, Maureen Dowd, to state in italics: “Welcome to the campaign, pretty boy”!

Dowd also noted the colossal stupidity of the Kerry campaign, whose Tad Devine declared on CNN: “Sen. Clinton – along with all the other women senators – agreed that they wanted to appear and speak together and asked Sen. Mikulski, the senior member, to speak on their behalf.”

This absolutely incredible idea – that Sen. Hillary was content to serve as a non-speaking extra, with Maryland’s Mikulski having the only lines – was set straight by Dowd’s very next paragraph: “And I am Marie of Romania.”

And now that the virtual nominee has responded to this near-catastrophe by bypassing the Democratic National Committee’s unbelievable stupidity, Kerry’s invitation to Hillary – to introduce her criminal husband (perjury and obstruction of justice) – compels me to ask: Who will introduce the introducer?

Will it be Sen. Mikulski? Or will the Democratic National Convention allow anything to be said at all during primetime from Boston by the former governor of Massachusetts (for whom John Kerry was lieutenant governor) and who was the party’s 1988 nominee for president of the United States? (Maybe Gov. Michael Dukakis, remembering Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton’s absolutely interminable nominating speech for him in 1988, would rather not introduce any Clinton. Or what, if given the chance, he repaid the Clintons – with interest?)

The New York Times’ Jodi Wilgoren reported:

Mrs. Clinton was originally shunted to the kiddie table, scheduled to appear with a group of female senators. After protests by her supporters, Mr. Kerry asked her to introduce her husband. Which, of course, upset the other female senators.

I shall look forward with distinct pleasure to asking California U.S. Sens. Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer about their being shunted to what the New York Times described as “the kiddie table,” while New York’s junior U.S. senator was rescued from such alleged obscurity.

The Times also reports:

Like Mr. Clinton in 1992, Mr. Kerry has recruited a Hollywood director – James Smoll, a documentary-maker recommended to Mr. Kerry by Steven Spielberg – to produce the film introducing him. He has enlisted a cast of characters from his life, from fellow Navy officers who rode Swift boats with him in Vietnam to his wife, to offer testimonials on stage, designed, as one of Mr. Kerry’s advisers said, to “deepen their knowledge of John Kerry.” Mr. Kerry went off the campaign trail for four days to review a half-dozen proposed acceptance speeches he solicited from various quarters.

Among those I strongly suspect as unsolicited by candidate Kerry were most of those with whom he served in Vietnam – who have organized Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

Their founder, retired Rear Adm. Roy Hoffman, was contacted by telephone by Sen. Kerry earlier this year. Houston attorney John O’Neill, who debated veteran Kerry, told a May news conference in Washington that Kerry spent 45 minutes on the phone trying to discourage the admiral and a considerable number of other Swift Boat comrades from going public with their united sentiment that Kerry is unfit to be this nation’s commander in chief. They deplored Kerry’s association with “Hanoi Jane” Fonda; his denunciation of so many of his former comrades, and his throwing medals and ribbons over the Capitol Hill fence.

Will the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth be protesting in Boston? Possibly not. But possibly at the Republican convention, Texas Congressman Sam Johnson, a P.O.W. in the “Hanoi Hilton” will be given a chance to relate how his Vietnamese captors and torturers loudspeakered speeches to all prisoners – speeches made by Jane Fonda and John Kerry.