Bush gets Meryl-lynched

By Doug Powers

Flipping channels almost always ends up being a big mistake. If I stray too far from ESPN, or the serene comfort of the GLOF (Gorgeous Ladies of FOX), I almost always end up seeing something that is best left unwatched. Friday night was no different, as I ran across Meryl Streep talking Jesus with Katie Couric. It was a theological reactor meltdown, resulting in a verbal radiological release that would have had the real Silkwood running in fear of re-contamination.

Having told myself months ago that I wouldn’t encroach upon the frustrating subject of the Hollywood left in the foreseeable future, I nearly changed the channel immediately. Overexposure to Hollywood idiocy had left me jumpier than Yasser Arafat after a car backfires. I’d sworn to take at least a yearlong hiatus in writing about Twizzler-brained socialist thespian dunces who have settled to the bottom of the Tinseltown bile vortex, but this time, it was too good to pass up.

During a portion of the interview, Streep used many of the teachings of Jesus to attempt to prove that President Bush, while professing to be a Christian, can’t possibly be one because he took America to war. Streep said that Jesus taught us to “turn the other cheek,” and “love your enemy.” When you listen to the Hollywood left incessently bash Bush, are you struck by their ability to “turn the other cheek” and “love their enemy”? What an interesting position – Bush is a warmongering monster of greed who must be stopped, and people who killed over 3,000 Americans just need a little hug? Sometimes I think those ivory towers are so high that there’s no oxygen up there.

Streep wondered aloud who Jesus would vote for, opining that she had trouble believing that He “would ever vote for a wartime president.” Couric looked on, awestruck, but probably only because Denzel Washington was sitting next to Streep. Katie was acting toward Denzel like Dom DeLuise while in the presence of cheesecake, so we’ll give Couric the benefit of the doubt and assume she was too distracted to notice that the smoke alarm was set off by all the misfiring synapses in the room.

It could come as bad news for Meryl to learn that just about every president was a wartime president. There’s always some sort of strife, whether publicized or not, occurring somewhere in the world. Both Bush presidents battled Iraq, Johnson and Nixon had Vietnam, under Carter, the CIA got involved in the Soviet Union-Afghanistan war and the Selective Service Act was passed. Reagan had Panama and Grenada – and made some potholes in Libya – and Clinton stormed the britches of Normandy.**

(**Normandy DeCupp, cocktail waitress at a Little Rock area “Hooters”)

Whenever you hear Hollywood liberals making positive references to religion, you can be sure it’s not because they’ve stopped trying to prevent the Ten Commandments from being posted on public property, put a halt to making movies which portray Christians as lobotomized hillbillies, or that they’re tithing to anything other than the Screen Actors Guild or the local Benz dealership – you know they’re invoking the name of Jesus only to criticize Bush, who is like a World War I foxhole when it comes to getting heretofore non-believers to suddenly find religion. Unfortunately, the religion they do find is for all the wrong reasons – out of hatred for the man they accuse of being full of hate.

The tactic among the anti-Bushers this election year is clear: Don’t run from Jesus, but rather fake a religious high ground – a loft from which they can claim that Bush is merely a warmongering zealot lobbing bombs at the innocent in the name of his twisted view of the Lord. The phoniness is surprisingly obvious coming from people who have made fortunes acting.

If Streep actually believes that “love your enemy” and “turn the other cheek” means embracing defenselessness, then I suppose we can look forward to a possible time when terrorists are rolling up the Pacific Coast Highway on their way to blow up Malibu, and Meryl will be putting out the welcome mat. Of course, in reality, she’d be complaining that Bush didn’t send in the Armed Forces to protect her soon enough – which, as she may describe, would be “a very non-Christian thing to do, since Jesus defended his flock, unlike George W. Bush.”

It’s a self-imposed Catch-22 from much of Hollywood – a place where hateful, spiteful and crazy words are born … and the birth is almost always breach. In this particular case, due to a viral condition known as “Streep throat.”