Just ‘Shove it’

By Barbara Simpson

First it was Michael Moore. Hollywood raising it’s partisan head in the guise of a “documentary” whose clearly intended purpose is to bash, slander and demean the Bush administration and the country.

The well-fed and badly dressed movie-producer rich guy relishes play-acting in real life, at least as he attempts to portray himself as the savior of the “little guy.”

Not!

Michael Moore is one of the Hollywood elite – a pandered, pampered insider. Rich, powerful on the show-biz scene, he’s as influential as the power structure will allow. How long it will last? Only as long as the bucks roll in and not a moment longer.

Until then, not only Hollywood catered to him, so do the Democrats and the presidential ticket aiming for the White House next January. When Michael Moore, fat and happy, sits in the presidential box at the Democrat convention, you know he’s riding box-office glory and the Dems and delegates think they’re rubbing shoulders with a “power God.”

Dumb Dems.

Michael Moore is one thing. But Ben Affleck? Where are the Kerry team brains?

On one hand, you might deduce that including Affleck – a camp-following, political wannabe – is a tawdry grab for the “youth” vote. Let’s see: Vote for Kerry because the guy who almost married J.Lo is part of the campaign.

Whoa. Where do I register?

But maybe it’s more crass – and crassness is part of the Kerry repertoire. Affleck is part of the first leg (perhaps more) of the Kerry campaign tour, which launched when the convention ended.

But perhaps the New York Daily News is closer to the truth of why Ben Affleck suddenly is a welcome political gadfly. It’s reported the actor and Sen. Kerry’s daughter, Vanessa, were pretty cozy all convention week and especially at a party Tuesday evening. Indeed, Affleck expounded at length about Vanessa in Harper’s Bazaar and he wasn’t talking political strategy.

Perhaps strategy is the word. Perhaps John Kerry is providing campaign cover for his daughter’s love life. Maybe Mr. K, as any father might, wants his daughter to find a guy and perhaps that guy is Mr. A.

Awww. What a dad.

But wait a minute. This isn’t supposed to be the fawning, flummery of Hollywood. And it certainly isn’t supposed to be the Cupid Assistance Society. But “supposed” has nothing to do with it. This is, after all, the Democrat strategy of “let’s get to the White House” and the cast of characters – John-John, Terry Kerry and Earth Mother Elizabeth – lends itself to the tricks of the theatrical trade.

The only one of the four who strikes me as human – despite the fact she’s a lawyer and the wife of a lawyer – is Elizabeth Edwards. She showed that during the primaries when she recounted an episode of devising costumes for her son and his friends for Halloween. They were to go to a party as a putting green: Each kid wore a suit on which she planted grass that would grow. But one boy didn’t water his suit and the grass died. Without missing a beat, Mrs. Edwards glued sand to the suit and the kid was the “sand trap”!

Talk about unflappable. John-2 is lucky to have her.

As for John-1, as in Kerry, we know what he wants – and he’s wanted it for years. He wants to be Mr. President. He told us so as he began his convention speech: “I’m ready for duty,” he said and saluted. Pity he gave himself away with sloppy form and a raised pinky.

Oops.

It is more than absurd, and a bad Hollywood script at that, for a man who spent barely four months in Vietnam, came home to trash and slander the men he served with and his own government, has the unmitigated gall to use home movies (HOME MOVIES?) he shot of himself, supposedly in combat in Vietnam – to represent himself as a brave patriot.

Vietnam was a war he came home to defame. He ostensibly threw back his “medals,” but now he uses them and that war as a badge of honor. Machiavellian or cunning dishonesty? Regardless, it speaks of intent to deceive – never mind what I do or did or said – pay attention to what I say now.

We endured a week of blind fealty to the party and the ticket. Every speaker reiterated the theme we’re in dire straits because of George Bush. Everything is bad and getting worse while the rich get richer and need to be taxed more.

Unfortunately, they omitted terrorism. Not a word of the threat to our survival or the innocents killed in terrorist attacks on our country – Sept. 11, the USS Cole, the embassy bombings, all the others. These dead are expendable in John-John’s efforts to lie and smear their way to the presidency.

But Americans can see through it.

Terry Kerry, furious that a reporter asked her why she spoke of “un-American” traits in politics. She denied saying it, even though it was recorded on tape, then told him to “Shove it!”

Remember that when John-John tells more campaign lies.

Say “Shove it!” – and you don’t have to say it in five languages.