The hipster-dufus is a modern term of art that refers to the once-unpopular, pocket-protector wearing, near-sighted, pimple-popping dweebs we all knew getting straight As in science and math. In high school, most kids avoided them like the plague thinking they had a boring life sentence filled with fashion faux pas and lonely Saturday nights.
Geek that I was – these were the guys I actually wanted to date. What can I say – I just love a quick mind and heady conversation. Of course, I still remember the grief I suffered for taking the physics-wiz to homecoming.
But oh how the tide has turned as all of America now hails these same science-geeks and bookworms of yesterday as our heroes, real life crime solvers and primetime entertainment. We like them so much we’ve become a nation of CSI wannabes in search of hidden truths at every corner, unveiling hoaxes and hoping to foil the would-be perfect crime.
Out in California, the nation’s media outlets sit enthralled by the trial of Scott Peterson, who prosecutors believe killed his pregnant wife and dumped her weighted body into the San Francisco Bay. For sure, by dumping the bodies into the murky water of the bay with a heavily silt-like bottom, the perpetrator was attempting to silence the victims in their grave. Decomposition was so extensive by the time the bodies were found, Laci’s unborn child was dislodged from her womb. That doesn’t leave much hope of usable evidence on their bodies.
That means this 21st century murder trial and investigation is now steeped in the use of cutting-edge geek-technologies like expert testimony on blood spatters, DNA testing and global tracking devices. It is these super-nerd technologies that are the primary hope of prosecutors attempting to string together sufficient evidence to convict Scott Peterson of the crimes.
Meanwhile, around the globe an unexplained explosion creating a 2.5-mile mushroom cloud in the mountains of North Korea has nuclear sleuths testing the story of Korean officials through a global network of 321 monitoring stations backed up by 16 radiation laboratories. This set of highly trained bobble-heads has traded in their pocket-protectors for seismic infrasound, hydroacoustic and radiation-detection technologies. How sexy is that? Bottom line, if anybody’s gonna explode nuclear materials anywhere on this planet – this team of geniuses is going to know about it.
But not every hipster-dufus holds a high-tech day job. No, today there is a growing sub-culture of arm-chair detectives on call to challenge potential hoaxes of every and any kind – particularly if they’re attempted by the mainstream media. This was never clearer than last week when a Bush investigation was aired on “60 Minutes.” The broadcast alleged Bush received special treatment during the Vietnam conflict, landing a cushy spot in the Texas Air National Guard, then shirked his duties.
In offer of proof, CBS correspondent Dan Rather provided photocopied documents and a never-before-seen memo that now appears fabricated. Yeah, that’s right: faked, forged, made-up, you know, created on somebody’s home computer using Microsoft Word. But the real news is who broke the story by uncovering the fraud CBS tried to perpetrate on America. It was the new and improved at home hipster-dufus.
In an amazing and immediate demonstration of at-home pc-sleuthing, computer geeks and bloggers went wild uncovering dozens of inconsistencies in the photocopied documents even before many of the experts. They uncovered inconsistencies in available word-processing techniques such as typesetting, character spacing, available fonts and use of superscripts.
Other investigators subsequently uncovered factual problems like a document signed and dated by a Bush commander nearly a year and a half after the commander retired. There are also conflicting dates, stylistic differences as well as personal testimonies mounting in favor of a guilty verdict for CBS.
Some sources say CBS and Dan Rather are “shellshocked by the increasing likelihood that the documents in question were fraudulent.” My guess is they’re shellshocked at getting caught by a band of shabbily clad goobers and home-computer enthusiasts.
Too many times I’ve heard the media mock the intelligence of the American people. All I can say to that is they haven’t met my readers, who I’d stack up against any pundit on either side of the aisle, anytime.
The wake–up call is that the 21st century has produced a new era of crime solvers and investigators that now live behind every TV and computer in America. The new at-home hipster-dufus is on the ready. His mantra is “Down with the hype and dictatorial reign of the media elite – technology means power to the people.” So liars beware.
Class action scams
John Stossel