Conservative columnists: Self-focused and irrelevant

Here I am, typing on the laptop, music humming in the ears, surveying the news. I’ll be leaving soon for an Anatomy class, so I need to come up with a provocative topic. But what is there to write about?

I could write about the presidential race and the debate that, by the time you read this, will have already been over. The horse race between President Bush and Sen. Kerry has been boring to me since the beginning. I was at Barnes and Noble not too long ago and I saw the cover of the latest Reason magazine. The cover had a picture of George Bush and one of John Kerry, with the words below, “The good news is one of these guys will lose.” That sums up my feelings.

I could write about how John Kerry is bad for the country. Unfortunately, such a column wouldn’t be too interesting, more redundant than anything. I could write about how George Bush is bad for the country and that might upset some conservatives, but it, too, would be redundant.

I could bash on homosexuals. That seems to always be a fallback topic and generates some controversy. Yet, that’s redundant as well, considering we conservatives have been bashing homosexuals for many years now.

I could write about our borders and how we need them to be secure so we can stop the Mexicans.

Another good topic is education. It’s easy to bash on public schools and condemn them for their failures in educating, and I could point to their success at negatively affecting the morals of young people. I could also compare that with the successes of homeschoolers and get all prideful about it. But that’s already been done by myself and countless others.

I could write about the moral degradation of our culture and bash on the entertainment industry for the trash they produce. I could claim that the media conglomerates are the corporational equivalent to the anti-Christ, but that would go a little overboard. I could alternatively blame this degradation on the American public and its physical lusts. I could talk about responsibility.

I could write about how we all need to be involved so we can save America. I could talk about being educated about history and the need to be involved at a local level. I could go into the impending fiscal disaster and contrast the current politicians with the kind of statesmen we need on Capitol Hill.

But I won’t, because that would be terribly boring. It’s all been hashed and re-hashed by the hundreds of columnists and cable news talking heads. In reality, the whole community of conservative columnists is really irrelevant. A lot of us just prostitute our ideas, hoping to be a rock star type for the newshounds so we can feel good about ourselves. Some columnists are incredibly successful, but when you enter the petty Beltway politics, it all becomes a waste of time. Sure, you can go on “The O’Reilly Factor” and talk about the disaster of public education, but all you’re really trying to do is sell a book.

I first became interested in politics because of a search for what was purposeful in life, but afterwards, I realized that politics is of no purpose. We nonchalantly talk about the problems of the world that are affecting the hearts, souls, and minds of people. Real people. Yet, that very important reality is hidden deep within the vanity of politics. You’re not going to go to Washington and change the world. A column of political analysis will never change anything. A book might, but it won’t if it’s filled with self-righteous condemnations.

So, that’s what we come to every day within the world of newspapers, cable news and talk radio. It’s not unlike the world of MTV that conservatives love to hate. Unlike MTV, the world that lies behind the veil of politics is of eternal relevance. Unfortunately, that veil is thick and it’s difficult to travel through it.